Due to the time change on Sunday (which is retarded by the way), I apparently changed every clock in our house EXCEPT the most important one. Our bedroom alarm of course. So we woke up really late Monday morning @ 7:03 a.m. No time to shower. Barely time for some make-up and brushing my teeth. I want you to know that I got myself and a 4 year old presentable in 26 minutes! Ethan had some milk while getting dressed, but as we were putting on our shoes to run out the door he complained about not eating breakfast. Apparently in my rush I had over-looked the idea that he might want more than a liquid breakfast.

I searched through the pantry for a quick on-the-go breakfast….no pop-tarts. Crap. Wait, there are fruit snacks. That’s easy to eat. But a sugary intended-as-a-snack food for breakfast? He of course loved the idea. What the hell. So I’m admitting on here that Ethan ate Sunkist fruit snacks for breakfast in the car on the way to school.

Now before you go nominating me for Mother of the Year, just know that the Sunkist brand is high in vitamins and they were in the shape of fruits.

I’m not even sure where to begin a story like this. I guess it all started after Nate & I met in college. During the last semester of school we got a cocker spaniel puppy and named her Pacey. Let me point out that we named her after Pacey on Dawson’s Creek. We actually loved that show. Crazy I know. Only one problem, Nate wasn’t allowed to have pets at the house he rented. My parents graciously agreed to keep her for a few months until we graduated and moved. Pacey’s life was a little rocky from the start. At around 2 months of age she somehow chewed through a lamp cord and while the lights were flickering in their house, my parents were like, “Um…what’s that smell?” Oh, it’s just the dog getting fried! To hear the story now of my mom screaming and my step-father calling the vet’s office and them hanging up on him because he kept telling them his dog had been electrocuted but was still alive, is kind of funny.

Fast forward a few years. Pacey was a pretty good dog. That being said, after cooking her eggs over-easy, she definitely would have been riding the short bus if she was going to school. Once Ethan was born she didn’t get the attention she deserved or needed. The fact that she howled like an aggressive wolf every time someone rang our doorbell and I had a 6 month old trying to sleep, didn’t increase the love she got. As time went on she exhibited more and more bad behaviors and I will admit to keeping her in our basement (a lot).

When Ethan was almost 2 years old, he and I were involved in a serious car accident in which I spent 3 months in the hospital. Given the stressful time my husband was under, Pacey got neglected a lot. I don’t mean we didn’t feed her, but no one was at our house to give her much attention. Priorities you know. He came home several times to a house smeared with poop. As his frustration with her grew, he kept telling me to get rid of her. So 6 months later, without discussing this with him, while he was at work I gave her away to another family who could give her the attention she deserved. It was a post-Zoloft moment. Let’s just say Nate was shocked and sad.

It has been very nice not having an animal to take care of, but Ethan has been begging us for a puppy for a long time. We kept saying maybe for your 5th birthday….but Ethan has been pretty dramatic lately with a little help from his drama coach father. He has a stuffed animal dog that looks just like Pacey that he named Black Nose. This dog goes everywhere and he talks to it and plays with it as if it’s a real dog. Then he’ll throw a ball and say, “Go get it Black Nose. Oh, that’s right you’re not a real dog.” Pretty sad isn’t it?

I came home from a meeting the other night and Nate had helped Ethan write me a letter asking if he could have a puppy, because it would make him happy and because he doesn’t have any brothers or sisters to play with. That kind of got to me and this weekend I gave in under a few rules.
#1 - I’m not taking care of this dog alone.
#2 - I’m not picking up any dog poop in the backyard.
#3 - I’m not getting up with the dog at night.
#4 - I’m not the one taking this dog to obedience classes.
You get the picture…I’m not doing much.

That all changed when I first held Parker and she snuggled up on my chest. So soft and cute. I’m easy. I’m weak. I’m a pushover. I know. But at least she’s a girl! It kind of evens out the testosterone around here. She can’t pee anymore in this house than my husband and son already do. At the pet store I picked out a cute pink collar and light green & pink leash. It’s SOOO foo-foo and trust me I’m not a foo-foo person.

The best part of this story is where we got her. Yeah, we picked her up in the parking lot of Denny’s. Seriously. That is what we should have named her. As long as we don’t short her circuit hopefully she’ll live a happier and calmer life than her predecessor.

This was my first time participating in any blog type awards and I think I choose a pretty good one! Everyone loves to laugh right? Several bloggers have kept the ROFL (Rolling On Floor Laughing) monthly award going - Metro Mama, IzzyMom & Mrs. Chicky. It gives us all a chance to laugh and read blogs you might not otherwise come across.

I awarded Theory of Thought, a high school girl with such wit and personality! Her post on “Profound Rationalization(s)” about a nightmare she had left me doubled over. Maybe because I could connect with the intensity of her fear. Or possibly because in her dream she had her leg amputated, got pregnant & lost her IPod. Either way, it was funny.

Go check out the other blog posts that left people rolling at Mrs. Chicky’s!!!

I sent my husband and son to their usual super-quick haircut place to get a buzz the other night. During the summer Nate will usually cut their hair outside, but I make them trot around mostly naked in the backyard so that they won’t track hair back in the house and it’s a little too cold out for that right now.

I am not allowed to touch either of their heads. That rule started back in college and was reinforced around Ethan’s first birthday. During those butterflies in your stomach dating days where you continually lie and pretend to be someone you’re not, I might have portrayed myself as being able to cut hair. To say it didn’t go very well is an understatement. Thankfully Nate enjoyed wearing hats.

When Ethan was turning one I tried to trim around his ears and it turned into a chunky mess with a lot of tears from both of us. All I could think of was how his birthday pictures would look.

About 8 weeks ago they went to the same place and the results weren’t very good that trip either. You’d think we would learn our lesson. When they returned home I asked my husband if he let a blind woman cut Ethan’s hair. It was that bad. I couldn’t believe he actually paid for it!

So what did I do? I snapped the picture and sent it and a copy of the receipt to Borics. The response:

“We offer reasonably priced services and our stylists are professionally trained to give you the look you want. Should you wish for them to correct an area, please advise their store staff.”

I’m relatively sure my husband didn’t walk into Borics and ask for the uneven look.

Bottom line - if you don’t mind holding your head to the side to even out the line across your forehead, Borics is your place!

I find it humorous that the word “control” is used to describe the remote. We have this long-standing feud in our house and maybe you do too. I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, although I know I am right (because I’m always right!).

A couple years ago my husband decided we were getting DVR, because we have no life and need to record as much TV as possible so that on Friday nights we’ll have something other than 20/20 to watch. I wish I was kidding.

What happened last night in our living room has occurred on numerous occasions. Nate decided he wanted to go to bed when our son did. Which is fine by me. It means full control of the TV and quiet time. Problem? The DVR was set to record mostly his shows for 3 straight hours - 2 shows each hour. You can only record 2 shows at a time and you must be watching one them (or something already previously recorded). So I was screwed unless I wanted to watch Heroes, Prison Break, 24, etc…and I didn’t. My shows were on too damn it! You know - WifeSwap, Supernanny, Sweet Sixteen, The Hills… I like reality shows and he prefers unrealistic shows where if you save the cheerleader, you save the world. We’re a good match.

My argument was this. If he’s going to bed then he has to cancel at least one of his recordings each hour so that I can watch something I like. Seems fair right? We each get a show? Split down the middle? Apparently not. We compromised and he canceled one show. Normally I would go to the bedroom on Monday night’s because I don’t like ANY of those shows. Which I don’t complain about. He gets the living room, recliner and 50 inch TV in HD. Me? The old queen size mattress and a 19 inch TV with a remote that you have to hold in your left hand, push the numbers twice with your right index finger and jump up and down on one foot just to change the channel.

Woo Hoo! Seem fair to you?