Dear Wal-Mart,
I almost feel guilty. Especially after reading a recent post by Kristen @ Motherhood Uncensored about a “stolen” $6.95 duck from The Gap. Seems some people who live in glass houses decided to throw a few stones and almost suggest they have never taken anything without paying (whether on accident or not).
They’ve probably never dented someone’s car door at Target or taken a piece of candy from the grocery store center aisle stand either. The again I’m sure they never received a restaurant bill only to notice they weren’t charged for a drink and didn’t bring it to the waitresses attention.
A few weekends ago I went to Wal-Mart’s garden center to pick up some flowers and bags of cedar mulch. The way it works is that you pay at the register inside, then drive your vehicle around to the side lot where these landscaping things are located and one of the friendly, tan Wal-Mart boys (usually in high school or college and not too bad on the eyes) will load your car. About 75% of the time they will ask to see your receipt.
So there I stood in the 90 degree heat waiting patiently for one of these fine young men to come lift some bags of mulch into my vehicle. And I waited….for at least 5 minutes. No one in sight.
In anger, I start hiking the bags of mulch (I paid for) into the back of the Expedition. Great customer service uh? Great theft prevention program too I thought. In my anger I may have thrown a couple extra bags of mulch in my vehicle (that I did not pay for). So what?
Then I did something beyond a $6.95 duck. Way beyond. I went over and grabbed some landscaping stones (that were heavier than the mulch), placed them in the Expedition and left.
I only feel guilty that Kristen got so much crap about accidentally bringing a stupid duck home when there are a lot of people, like myself, who take things on purpose.
It happens. How many times have you gotten home after hitting the McDonald’s drive-thru only to realize they gave you the wrong food? How many times has McDonald’s given you an extra order of fries you didn’t pay for? It all equals out.
Kristen got raked over the coals, but responded with humor. Go check out her ducks and choose your stance.
Thanks for the extra mulch and stones Wal-Mart. I’m sure you’ll get the money back next week when the sale items don’t ring up at sale price.
My name is Emily. I’m 30 years old. I have often been told that I ask a lot of questions, but I think I have more to say than ask.

You are going to hell. You and me. Hey. At least we’ll have stones to sit on and a cute duck for company, right?
Amazing how people can judge, isn’t it?
Why am I not surprised at this? First you bash the helmet law and now you’re stealing? Sounds like you need to be in jail instead of Paris Hilton!
We’ll need some pictures of those rocks, please. For the new website - http://www.kleptomamas.com.
Hahahahaha!
I love this post.
I hate when people are so righteous. Life’s just too short.
Evil. You people are corrupting me.
hee…if you end up in the hoosegow as Anne above seems to think you should take a peek to your left…I might be there with ya
As I’m so fond of saying…Shit happens accidentally and occasionally on purpose. Over the years I’ve toted home quite a few things that accidentally went unnoticed in my cart until I was loading my car. I’ve never taken them back in and paid for them. By the same token I’ve perused my receipt many times and seen that I’ve been overcharged and I don’t bother going back in to get it corrected unless it is some astronomical amount. (that only happened once when I was charged twice for a box of floor tile) I figure it probably balances out in the end and actually the store probably makes out in the end because they overcharge me far more than I overlook items in my cart.
The self righteous always amaze me…
I love it how people who come to criticize (i.e. Anne) never leave links.
I hate Wal-Mart. The ones by our house never have enough employees so you wait 45 minutes in line just to check out. And then if you’re trying to find an item? Good freaking luck! So I’m happy you took the stones.
I have the most annoying morals anymore. That damn little voice inside my head doesn’t let me get away with ANYTHING.
I’m jealous.
Your right! We would get along great : ) I am so with you on this one, and K should KEEP the duck!
You klepto you!!!! I love that you stole mulch and landscaping stones…. so mundane!! Makes gardening sexy and dangerous!
thanks for popping by my website, Emily — your blog looks much better than mine…
I should let you know that the folks at Wal-Mart pay quite a bit of attention to what the bloggers say about them. You’ve no doubt popped up on a google alert or something.
They may be contacting you shortly…
Nicely done! And this reminds me, I once ate a candy corn in one of those snacks by the lb. places BEFORE the bag was weighed. I guess I’ll be rooming with Paris in jail, huh.
I get very excited when stores forgot to charge me one item or give me an extra item without charge, because it’s so comforting to know that I’m so NORMAL
consider it payment for being a SAHM. a free duckie with purchase…
Wal-Mart can take it. I know, I shop there, too.
And at least once a week I pay more than I should because the register gal puts her thumb on the produce scale.
Of all the stores that deserves to lose a few bags of mulch - I’d totally vote for Walmart.
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
Oh, there are some incredibly moral people out there. They are the ones who will leave comments disparaging someone for accidentally leaving a store with a ducky, but who will divorce their wife via fax as she lays in a hospital bed getting chemo (i.e. Newt Gingrich-type Republicans…)
You know, not so moral after all…
You are honest. I love you. I have nothing else to say other than I’ve got your back and I’ll keep coming back. Remember my iron? Oh, the hell I’ve paid via trolls.
Thanks for the support ya’ll! Minus Ann, who keeps leaving me warm fuzzies & not putting a REAL e-mail address down (let alone a website).
Come on, EVERYONE has done it. It’s kind of like karma. It goes around. Sometimes we get screwed….sometimes you get to screw.
Kelly ~ Who in the world divorced their wife via fax while she was getting chemo????? I’m so curious as to that statement.
YOU GO , GIRL!
If you were stealing from a mom and pop store I’d totally be appalled, but WalMart? Big deal. You’re doing to them what they’re doing to the rest of us.
[…] Store, a $15 gift card to Starbucks & a SPECIAL PRIZE. (I promise it isn’t anything I’ve stolen from Wal-Mart!) Who couldn’t use a new leather purse and some coffee? And the special prize is definitely […]
It evens out. Sometimes the fast food place puts mustard on my no-mustard hamburger and I can’t eat half of it, but I don’t go back and demand a refund. Sometimes you get the extra fries.
Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught. ~J.C. Watts
Island Journalist…..not a real e-mail uh?
How’s the weather in your glass house?
The e-mail is a real address. Did you try it before accusing moi?
Don’t live in a glass house, and not throwing (landscaping) stones.
Just stating a fact; not saying I live up to it.
Stealing is stealing, no matter how you try to justify it.
If you’re OK with stealing from Walmart because they don’t have enough staff to serve you immediately, yadda, yadda, well, OK then. Do you walk out of restaurants after a meal if the waitstaff is tardy in bringing your bill? Do you steal a piece of jewellery if there’s no staff at the counter when you’re ready to pay for it?
OMG, where does it end????
BTW, the duck thing was a TOTALLY different situation.
I salute your bravery in being honest on the internet. I suggest you pay Wal Mart for their goods and you’ll probably feel better about yourself.
Sorry, I forgot the _ mark in your e-mail address.
Stealing is stealing. I totally stole from them. And the duck situation may have occurred differently, but as you said stealing is stealing…she still could have returned it uh?
I’m sure Wal-Mart will get their money back in some form or fashion. And no, I normally do not condone this type of behavior or exhibit it. But in some situations you react out of anger and frustration. Heaven forbid we act human!
And the next time the drive-thru gives you an extra hamburger you didn’t pay for, be sure to turn right around and return it. Oh and the extra napkins you don’t need…return those when finished too. Thanks!
Ps- Guess this means you won’t be participating in the Worst Father Contest?
Not sure how we leapt from stealing to Worst Father Contest.
Will Walmart get its money back? Don’t know about that, but I think what you’ve lost by your actions is far more significant.
Thanks for letting me know what to do with the extra hamburger and napkins. Was tewtelly wondering how to handle that situation.
I figured you only read the Wal-Mart post before you judged me. Trust me Wal-Mart - who it notorius for things not ringing up the sale price - will get their money back.
For schizzle lady….do you work for Wal-Mart, have stock, what!?!?! I’m done.
Wow, this is starting to get a little heated… Let me throw my 2 cents in.
I don’t give much thought to situations like this involving stores such as Walmart. However, when you consider how much they are taking from the actual manufacturers of the products they sell I almost want to root for people like Fenicle. Because they are so big Walmart forces manufacturers to take pennies on a sale just to have their products in the store. Some are even forced to take a loss. On the off chance you or anyone else would feel bad about this as “Island_Journalist” says, I suggest you send a check to straight to the manufacturer.
In general though, my thought is this. If a store such as Walmart offers the service of loading your car (which is included in the price and you are paying for) and fails to deliver, they are stealing from you. Time is ultimately more valuable than money.
And in the interest of full disclosure, I have walked out on a check at a restaurant partly because the wait staff was so slow. There is no reason you should have to wait 30 minutes for someone to bring your bill.
Nope, I read quite a few of the entries on your blog. You’re a good writer and very funny at times.
No Wal-Mart stock and don’t work for them.
Not judging, just commenting. Do you want opinions or agreement?
I’m just “choosing my stance.”
Sorry if it ticks you off. I’ll stop now.
BTW, if we all agree Wal-Mart is the biggest, baddest conglomerate in the known world, why the hell does everybody shop there?
I wouldn’t say they are “the biggest, baddest conglomerate in the known world”, and I don’t think Fenicle said that either, but in the retail world they have got to be at the top of the list.
People shop there out of convenience either because they have the majority of what people want or Walmart has moved in and drove out smaller businesses and they have no other choice. Regardless of why people shop there Walmart is the epitome of big business. They are in it for the money and have little respect for both their customers and their suppliers.
Sorry, *slight* exaggeration on my part.
But - and please don’t take this a judgemental in any way - what I can’t figure out is how we can justify stealing from them because they are big business? I’m not sure why that makes it OK? Doesn’t that put us on par with Wal-Mart and make us complicit in practicing the very thing we claim to hate?
Oh, believe me, I know it’s human to want to do that…but…it’s not right (said in a small, timid, very unjudgemental tone by someone just wanting to discuss the morality of it all).
I welcome the discussion…in the form of just that….but not any attacks or judgement. I know that stealing is wrong - no matter who you steal from. I really can’t justify it with an answer that will make it alright. Some of it may be a sense of entitlement? Or even repayment for previous problems there?
And in some cases I think we all cheat at something. Just as human nature.
I don’t know about you, but I work hard and if I’m going to spend my money at a business (big or small) I want it to go as far as it can & I expect service in return for choosing their business.
As for our family - Wal-Mart is really almost the only choice in this area. With high gas prices I don’t have the luxury of driving all over to shop.
I really think this situation isn’t as cut and dry as the word “Stealing” implies. She didn’t go to Walmart for the purpose of stealing something, do it because she just didn’t want to pay for it, or do it just for the fun of it. So I’m not sure the over all term of stealing is correct. Yes technically she did steal it, but not in the sense you would think if someone came up to and said hey, so and so just stole this.
Also, I don’t look at it as “revenge stealing”, stealing because they basically stole. And my statement about them bullying manufacturers and supplies wasn’t to suggest that “revenge stealing” is OK, but rather to point out it’s hard to feel sorry for the big guy.
I’ve said this before but I’m a huge proponent of the value of time so I look at it like this. She went to Walmart and purchased some items (mulch I think). In purchasing those items she also purchased the service of someone loading them in her car. Where this becomes a lighter shade of gray for me is the fact that she waited with no fulfillment of the service end of the purchase. And it’s not like she was just impatient, there was actually no one there to do the service that was promised to her.
Now it’s hard to put a price on someone’s time but I would say that the time she spent waiting for a service that wasn’t provided, but was promised and paid for, is well worth the price of the stones she helped herself to.
STEAL: To take (another’s property) without permission: filch, pilfer, purloin, snatch, thieve. Informal: lift, swipe. Slang: cop, heist, hook, nip1, pinch, rip off, snitch. Idioms: make (walk) off with. See crimes, give/take/reciprocity.
Though not premeditated, it was stealing. I think Fenicle agrees (?)
What we are discussing, I think, is whether it was justified or not.
I think not. Though this person who drinks too much, is selfish, has a lot of pride, and had an affair while married to another, is not casting any stones.
“…when there are a lot of people, like myself, who take things on purpose”
YES! I took the damn mulch & stones. Took: to steal, take without permission, etc…
I don’t care if it was justified or not. It’s done & over. My husband has nicely added them to our landscaping.
And Greg has some good discussion points….I think I love you!
Fenicle, it’s difficult for me to understand how else to say things so you will believe I am only wanting to discuss the issues in a broader sense…Let me assure you that I didn’t mean to imply by my last sentence: “Though this person who drinks too much, is selfish, has a lot of pride, and had an affair while married to another, is not casting any stones.” meant what you thought was implied, i.e., “…when there are a lot of people, like myself, who take things on purpose.”
I am sorry you took it that way, and I guess there’s no point continuing any longer. As you say, “It’s over and done with.” So thanks for your blog and the opportunity to discuss this issue.
I think we have some mega-miscommunication. My quote was taken from my Wal-Mart post to show I did realize I “stole” those items. It had nothing to do with your last quote on “Though this person who drinks…”
It’s all good. My actions really weren’t justified. But it sure felt good
OH MY GOD! 42 posts. About some mulch. Emily’s got so many other posts that will entertain you, I suggest you move on click through the archives.
Give it up people. Really, have you no lives.
I’m a regular commenter here and would never go visit someone’s blog to just bitch them out regardless if they’ve eaten a live baby or killed their own sibling.
It’s some freaking mulch. She’s the devil. She’ll go to hell. She’ll die a painful death. You wouldn’t trust your children with her. Enough! She clearly feels a little bad about it, and she’s “learned her lesson” and you’ve given her enough of your own two cents to choke her.
Leave Emily alone. We are all guilty of something in our lives. Why do you pay so much attention visit a blog daily just to continue the fight? That’s not peaceful. That’s not what a “christian” would do. Clearly you’re really into yourself and love starting a fire. Why waste precious moments of our lives bitching out a person who you clearly disagree with?
Move on and read some other person’s blog and bitch about more shit you don’t agree with on your own time AND on your own blog.
As Tracy Ullman says after each show, “GO HOME!”
Oh Jaildiet my friend….you truly crack me up! Thanks for the support, but just to clarify: I DON’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT STEALING THAT STUFF!!!! THE LESSON LEARNED IS TO EITHER TAKE MY HUSBAND WITH ME NEXT TIME TO LOAD THE CRAP OR FACE JAIL WITH PARIS HILTON.
I know what I did. I knew what I did when I did it
This is what happens when I stay on Google Reader and don’t click onto the site. I miss the really good stuff.
I am fascinated by this discussion. First of all, I am impressed by how decent it has remained. I’m not being sarcastic. I think Fenicle, Greg, and Island_Journalist have all remained pretty fair in this.
I love the line “Not judging, just commenting. Do you want opinions or agreement?” Personally, I think I would be crying out of frustration if I were Fenicle. But she’s not. She’s responding. And not blocking comments. Do you know how surprised I am that the comments are not closed at this point?
Fenicle, I love this post and this thread of comments. Thank you for facilitating this discussion. I don’t agree that these people have no lives. This is just fascinating. And I have lots of other things I should be doing right now.
I do own Wal-Mart stock, come from a small rural community where they drove out small businesses (including those of family friends), have mixed feelings about their pricing practices, and shop at Wal-Mart for various reasons.
When I was little, I stole five bookmarks from Wal-Mart. I’ve been justifying it to myself ever since. Wal-Mart has gotten away with some serious sh*t to me because of those damn bookmarks. When oh when will we be even?!