The Line In The Sand
Has anyone else heard about this? There are middle schools across the country, but specifically in Virginia, who are enforcing a strict no-contact rule amongst their students. No-contact even includes handshakes, high-fives and hugs. Students can be penalized for breaking the rule.
The original intent was to curb fighting and violence among the students. School officials admitted that the building was designed to hold a maximum of 850, but has exceeded 1,100.
I’m not sure I believe the solution they’re trying to incorporate is the right one. It sounds like another case of overcrowding. I strongly believe there should be some limits on the amount of “touching” that is allowed at the middle school level, but I also believe they are sending kids the wrong message. Let’s teach them self-control and compassion, not distance and indifference.
Physical touch is necessary to show love and feel accepted. For some children getting a hug from a friend at school (or even a teacher) might be the only physical contact they receive that day. How do the sports teams communicate on the field if high-fives are banned? At the end of the game most teams line up to shake hands to signify good sportsmanship.
This is obviously a hormonal age for young students and exploring is natural. Groping each other at school is not. They need to understand boundaries and the focus should be more on healthy relationships at this age. Telling them they cannot express themselves by hugging another person is not healthy. Their focus at school should be on education and learning, not the giddiness of holding their boyfriend’s hand in the hall.
One statement a school official made that I found quite interesting was: “They’ve seen pokes lead to fights, gang signs in the form of handshakes or girls who are uncomfortable being hugged but embarrassed to say anything.”
It is possible that they are trying to avoid lawsuits from unwanted touching. However, sex education needs to start at the very beginning of how to treat a person. There is a large debate on what to teach ~ abstinence versus comprehensive sex education.
Too much focus is on body parts and birth control, and not enough is taught on what is appropriate behavior. Children don’t understand what is acceptable and what is not. Making out in the hallway at middle school is neither. Hugging a friend who is having a bad day is acceptable.
Somewhere along the line my husband must have learned it’s alright to walk up to me and grab at my chest. I’m thinking it may have stemmed from some bra strap popping back in middle school.
oh christ. what next! students have to walk around in straight jackets?
what the hell is this world coming to? let them just take every ounce of pleasure away…hugs! how about banning tongues in mouths and hands down pants first.
Yep, I agree. My husband teaches Middle School. Before he started teaching he was freaking about the touch/no touching thing. All that flew out the window as the year progressed. He has one boy, who has no father, that come up to him every morning for a hug. Hunney said that he had told the boy one day, when he was misbehaving that all he needed was a hug, and the little boy got all teary eyed and said, “You’d hug me?..” So Sweet, So Dangerous these days!
what the hell?!!! it’s wrong to be so OVERPROTECTIVE of children. the more your deprive them, the more they are going to rebel in the opposite direction!
oh, this makes me sad…and you think we’d have learned. abstinence didn’t work too well, we evolved into safe sex. this? i can’t see our children becoming autonomous robotic creatures. it’s biology, after all.
This is a typical reactionary response by a government body when it doesn’t quite know how to curb a situation. Problem with fighting? Instead of, you know, teaching the kids about conflict resolution, let’s just tell them they can’t touch each other! Problem with over-sexualized behaviour? Instead of discussing emotional and physical boundaries, let’s just tell them they can’t touch each other!
Gah!
PS - I think all husbands have learned that it’s OK to grab at their wife… just sayin’
This exists at my kids’ school. This year my 1st grader got her first kiss from a little boy in her cass. He got written up and sent to the Principal’s office! Poor kid!
*shakes head*
There’s never any balance, only extreme measures to combat extreme problems caused by previous extreme measures. What a load.
Hey - my husband does that too! I think they’re actually taught that in some secret handbook that’s handed out.
I think the rule you mentioned is ridiculous. I agree that guidelines should be set, but to have such a blanket rule doesn’t make sense.
At our school, the kids aren’t allowed to run on the playground. ’nuff said!
this stuff all makes me sad. not only does it teach the wrong parts of the end lessons it’s trying to impart, it STILL doesn’t end up addressing the issues at the root of the problem.
curbing fighting and violence? good, sure, absolutely. but seriously…the gang stuff can still be coded from kid to kid in non-contact hand signs. and draconian rule imposed from above is only going to increase problems related to authority, while at the same time leaving kids who genuinely need a hug, a kind touch - just the humanness of being friends - in a weird vacuum.
genius.
I understand wanting to avoid violence…but this is extreme. I hate any type of zero-tolerance rule. That implies they are just too lazy or too scared to really consider things on a valid basis, it is just easier to draw such a ridiculous rule that no thought need ever be made after that.