Ever met a pervert? Come on you know you have. Whether it may be that old man down the street, your husband’s buddy or a close family friend. My parents have a trio of close friends that they do things with. They all attended high school together and still live in the same area (small town quicksand, once you’re in you never get out).

The common thread they share is having an empty nest, retirement looming and the “how soon until we die” question mark hanging over their heads.

We’ll call this ‘perv‘ Don. I must say he is probably an overall nice man, but his creepiness factor is off the radar.

Don usually drives me crazy with his off-the-wall comments and the fact that he tries a little too hard to be witty. I can’t explain all of his issues, even the internet can’t hold them. He’s tall, so I know he doesn’t suffer from “little-man syndrome,” but he’s obsessed with sex and likes to make his thoughts known to all who will listen.

Last weekend while camping he was actually telling the group that if his wife ever died he’d need to remarry quickly. Not because he can’t cook or do his own laundry, but because he can’t take care of his “needs” in that way. He reminds me of Hugh Hefner…old and creaky body, but still going strong like the Energizer Bunny.

His favorite camping motto is: “if the trailer is a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’!”

He also was excited to have bought a new VCR for their camper. When someone else commented that they may not make many VHS tapes anymore, he didn’t care. Wonder why? Probably because his porn collection is on VHS.