Short -Term Goals And Blowing Out Candles
As my 30th birthday approaches tomorrow I have been asked the same questions over and over again.
“Do you feel any different?”
“Is it depressing turning 30?”
The one question anyone has yet to ask is -
“Is this where you thought you’d be at 30?”
The answer is no.
I have always lived by short-term goals. Forget planning so far ahead. I just need to have an outline on how my life should go over the next few years. Life is so much easier to picture when you aren’t focusing on the distant future. Everything looks manageable and glamorous in the present.
In high school the goal was to finish high school and go away to college. Check.
Once in college the goal was to finish college (ok, there was an extra year in there I didn’t plan for) and then find a job. Check.
The next goal was to marry, buy a house and start a family. Check.
Everything fell into place just as I had planned.
My husband turned 30 about a month ago. Our goals by this age were to buy a larger house, be more secure financially and most importantly have another child. This is how we expected our lives to go.
Life interrupted us a few years ago and rearranged things just a bit. Three years ago my husband was praying that I live to see my 30th birthday. All of a sudden a larger house didn’t seem to be the short-term goal.
In all honesty the first year after the car accident I didn’t think I’d see 30 either. My whole world was crumbling. In the midst of my own pain I watched the sudden short-term goals of my cousin fall apart as well.
The world was starting to seem like a cruel, evil storm that wouldn’t end. So why keep fighting?
Because for a reason I will never completely understand I am here to blow out candles on my 30th birthday. Goals change. Things happen.
I’m not planning short or long-term goals anymore. Instead I strive to do the best with what I’ve got, each day I’m given.
My name is Emily. I’m 30 years old. I have often been told that I ask a lot of questions, but I think I have more to say than ask.
I have an older sister 11 years my senior. When she turned 30 I called her a “geezer” in her card. She reminded me of that when I turned 30 a few years ago.
I think a lot of people perceive 30 as some sort of milestone; with many people pursuing post-secondary and even post-graduate education, being a student into your late 20s is not completely unheard of. However, as people approach 30, there is a social pressure to conform to what is perceived to be a “normal” adult (the things you mentioned: spouse, kids, house, etc).
To this end, I think a lot of the questions you were asked weren’t so much about long-term goals, but more the general sense of turning 30 and becoming a “grown up” (said the 33 year old man with five action figures, four Pez dispensers, and several Star Wars Lego kits on his desk).
Happy Early Birthday. May you spend it with those you love, doing what you love, and eating what you love.
Very good point. Many people are more career-minded these days and postpone marriage & family until later in life.
In my case though I wanted the marriage & family. Career to me was just financial support for what I loved most - my family. And our “30″ milestone was a measurement of whether or not we had achieved our goals….mostly by adding to our family.
Thanks for the birthday wishes! I’m enjoying dinner at a fancy place with all my family tonight.
Happy Birthday, and your goal, is a perfect one.
My 1st visit. Very well written and insightful. Happy birthday from a “Genuine Maine Geezer”, and may you and your family enjoy many more. I’ll be back, enjoyable site:)
gorgeous. and exactly right. all we have is right now, and the more living in that we can do the better.
happy, happy birthday.
I hope you have a great birthday!
30 does come with a nice perk. Everyone I know seems to gain more confidence in their 30’s, plus for some reason it gets a lot easier not to care what other people think and tell them that if needed.
True statement. Your last sentence is pure genius. A way for us all to live.
Happy Birthday and I hope this is your best year yet! Have you ever heard the expression “in my day….followed by some great remenissing? I’ve been giving that alot of thought lately and I decided the most successful creatures adapt easily to change. That means we need to make every day our day and every year Our year! Have a great one!
Happy birthday, E. I have loved my 30’s. I hope you will love yours too
Have a very happy birthday!
Happy Birthday! So many people turning 30 this week.
I can see how something like your accident would definitely change your outlook on life in a good way.
now if we could all takea tip from you and learn to live each day in the moment…:)
happy birthday!
Well, lady…I’m so glad you’re hear making us laugh and think. Happiest Birthday wishes to you today.
I honestly can’t wait until I’m 30. So good for you for making the clear transition.
[On your wee 29th birthday I started my blog. Clearly in honor of you. Today is my blog’s one year birthday as well]
I think I’m old enough to be your mother. At least I’m feeling it today! Beautifully written, excellent advice.
Happy B-day. Or, as my son would say, Happy B-day cake!!!
I hope you have a great 30th. I loved turning 30 actually.
TAWANDA!!!
Hee! Finally, you’re joining the 30-something club. I LOVE IT. And, when I turned 30, I felt so young — because I was no longer the OLDEST 20-something, no, I was the YOUNGEST 30-something! Seriously! I loved it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Love what you wrote about goals. “Here and now,” Fen — I’m with 100 percent with that one….
Wishing you a Very Happy Birthday~
It’s interesting that you say so…
I hope you had a fabulous birthday. And with or without goals, I hope every day brings a smile to your face.
Happy Birthday, and I’m glad you fought to live. You obviously have a lot to give back, and are doing so on your blog. Which is delightful…and informative.
Goals, my version, never change them, merely adjust the timing. It’s great getting to know you and your family.
I am also grateful for life….
Dorothy from grammology