Returned Tactfully
We had a family dinner at my parent’s house last night for my brother’s birthday (which is today). I can’t tell you the scenario’s that went through my head in dreaming up sarcastic ways in which to return the key.
They were good. Too good. But what would that really accomplish? I’m trying to be the bigger person and take the high road and just retreat.
Some were devious, others were delightfully tacky, but in the end I just left it there quietly without any words spoken. Because what could I honestly say that would make a difference at this point? What’s done is done.
Despite the hurt feelings, I am not begging to keep it. My pride runs deeper.
Only he can truly decide whether to let me in. It doesn’t mean I won’t keep trying to be a part of his world; I just won’t have the access I thought I once did.
So my dignity is in tack and my husband is grateful I didn’t create any scenes. I’m reminded of a prayer I’ve reverted to many times in my life:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.~Reinhold Niebuhr~
My name is Emily. I’m 30 years old. I have often been told that I ask a lot of questions, but I think I have more to say than ask.
Brava! You did the right thing. I can totally understand your hurt and the need to make a smart-arse comment but it just would make you feel worse and it wouldn’t make the hurt go away. Chin up, Emily (if that doesn’t sound too British/chipper/patronising - it is only meant to sound the first two).
Well done on keeping your cool
btw - great prayer and I’m going to use that as well.
Well, I for one would love to hear some of the ideas. Not sure whether sharing would contribute to the whole “serenity, courage, wisdom” thing, though I guess.
I had to go read your previous post…
I’m impressed with your level headedness. I know i’m good with the knee jerk (focus on JERK) reactions in similar situations.
You did awesome.
I’m proud of you, Girl. You came out the bigger person. I thought that serinity guy was Irish!
Well done, the high road is generally dryer as well. Mr Niebuhr’s little prayer is second nature to me now after decades of use. It’s prevented me from making an ass of myself many times over:)
off the subject- did you know that’s the prayer said at the start and end of all alcoholics anonymous and narcotics anonymous meetings. too bad they don’t have assholes anonymous for the keymaster there. too bad i know that prayer.
Ouch! That’s all I can say. Ouch!
You did terrific. And this was no easy task.. The only thing you can do is move on and wait for a time, when you can discuss this with your parents. It would be helpful if you were able to tell them how you feel. The good and the bad. They may not have a clue, and have a simple reason as to why they asked for they keys. I hope sometime down the road you get a chance to figure this out.
Dorothy from grammology
You done good.
Although I wouldn’t mind hearing some of the fictional accounts you thought about beforehand. . .
ahhhhh…my favorite prayer. It has seen me through many a difficult time in life.
Job well done on the key issue. There’s nothing to be gained by putting up a stink. Though I took dreamed up a lot of deliciously snarky ways to let my displeasure be known. In the end I just let it drop and never mentioned it again.
Here’s hoping your relationship with your step father mends. Mine never has.