I Asked For It
I asked for a boy. I asked many, many times that it be a boy. Mainly because I had no idea what I would do with a girl. I am not a foo-foo girl myself. My hair is in a pony-tail 99% of the time and dresses are reserved for very special occasions (such as your wedding).
I knew my limitations and putting matching bows in a girls hair would not be under my list of abilities.
A boy I could handle. No frilly things. No pretend tea parties. No matching clothes required. Boys just seemed simpler.
Guess what? They aren’t. Boys are loud, gross and did I mention loud?
As I write this a bug catching jar sits on our dining room table with a dead butterfly and cricket inside. On our dining room table! Placed there by a 5 year old boy who thinks it’s “cool.”
This week alone I cleaned a handful of rocks out of the dryer. I now realize the importance of checking his pockets before washing his clothes. See his clothes may be simpler without the glitter and bows, but boys come with sticks and trash.
For some strange reason he decided that peeing in the cup we keep in the bathtub was a good idea. I can only explain it with imagination and curiosity. And his male chromosomes.
Recently he discovered his newest talent of burping. Ah yes, I expected it when he was 15 and messing around with the guys, but no 5 year old should need to burp as often as he does! I’ve even threatened to take him to the doctor.
Need I mention the other stinky sound he’s grown quite fond of? The one most people don’t talk about amongst friends. Except our son. He’s proud to let one rip in church, at the library or in front of guests. It ranks right up there with picking his nose and eating it.
What you see pictured above is considered “treasures.” Things he finds, keeps and hoards like a pack-rat. It’s kind of hard to explain to friends who only have girls why your son isn’t playing with action figures. “Um….he prefers trash.”
But those of you with boys understand. I hope. Despite these characteristics I did not think about when I sent my wishes above, I’m thankful for the laughter he’s brought and the embarrassing stories I can tell his when he’s older.
CHECK IT: I have a guest post up over at Grammology. If you’ve never read the wisdom shared at their site, you need to. This post is in regards to an old brown chair my grandfather owned. Go visit.
I totally understand since we have two boys. And here’s a hint…just be glad that what you’ve pulled out of his pockets was not alive. It might not always be that way!
Your little boy sounds just like mine. Right down to carrying his “treasures” (stuff that I would call trash) in his pockets. I love going for walks with him and watching him pick up acorn after acorn and study each with great deliberation; some go in the pocket and some go back on the ground and I’m not ever sure why one didn’t make the cut.
Mine is only 16 months old and it’s already starting. How is that even possible?
do y’all have a booger wall yet? You know like, the wall where your son has wiped all of his boogers?
lol ! He sounds like a perfectly healthy little boy. I enjoyed hearing about his escapades. I have 5 boys and 2 girls. My oldest is 25 my youngest is 4. The fun continues even into adult years. I love being a mommy.
sigh. boys sound fun.
I completely understand. I never wished for a boy, but I am so happy I was given two;>
I still leave all sorts of stuff in my pockets before I wash a load of clothes. That’s a bad habit that just won’t go away, for me at least.
“Um….he prefers trash.”
love that. boys are funny.
god forbid i get knocked up—dare i have a girl. even as foofy as i may be, what the hell do you do with a girl! i mean, really–what do you do?
those things in the pockets–my husband would have a made some sort of “necklace” out of them while he was a “punker.” Why do guys love farting? And spelling and talking WHILE belching is a big pet peeve of mine.
Nice artifacts…one thing for sure, they are not boring at all and quite colorful
Makes for a great conversation piece. He’s perfect. My boy of 8 collects wrappers, rocks and boring stuff. My daguther is wonderful, she collects dirt! Literally and kills ants with no remorse and throws them into the spider’s web. All to funny…go ahead have one, they are sweet, actually they all are.
Jail Diet ~ that is exactly what Ethan told me to do with the circle things….make me a necklace. How sweet! At least he brings me some sort of jewelry (hint hinit Nate!).
We don’t have booger walls….that I know of. And thank goodness there has never been anything alive in his pockets (they’d be dead after swimming in the washer & then fried from the dryer!).
As a mother of three girls and one baby boy - I can’t wait!
I also asked for a boy, and now that number 2 is coming, I am changing my tune: please let the next one be nice, and quiet, and serene, and docile…
I though boys would be easier too until I tried to explain that we pee in the toilet…not on the wall, in the trash can, on the floor, on the shower curtain…
Those look very precious to me! My guys like to keep their smelly socks in their beds. It is just beyond gross!
My 3-year-old daughter? Changes clothes twice a day at least and won’t let me help her! I might pick the wrong outfit.
I “refound” you after going through some older posts. Glad I did.
Oh hell, I have one of each, I’m thinking of sending both back. My boy is dirty and gross, my girl is a diva in training. Both make me want to pull my hair out.
Heh. I understoood every word of this post. Completely.
I’ve got one of each as well and my daughter is just as filthy and gross and given to bold passages of gas from either end as my son. Should I be concerned?
We have 2 of each, all adults now and a mixed bag growing up. All are now experiencing the joy of kids of their own driving THEM nuts. The cup episode may be training for future ‘job related’ drug testing, but the ‘collecting ‘ never ends. I’ve had the various restored cars and motorcycles to prove it. Of course, “Momma” has her stuffed bear and china doll collections too:)
This young boy is precious. Wait until he brings home things that are still alive? Noah loves to look for worms, and thinks I should as well. Frogs and butterfly’s are next..
Oh and then there are the snakes. Little boys never stop. Have fun..
Dorothy from grammology
Although I wish I did, I don’t yet have any boys (or girls for that matter)… BUT I have a precious nephew who is 3 and on the verge of finding his own “treasures” to save. I love that they think such things are so cool.
So this is what I have to look forward to, eh?
Oh, and my boy is only 5 months, but he already knows how to belch quite well… sheesh!
heee! what a little treasure he is!!!
Here’s to stories we can tell when they’re older!
And I soooooo understand loud! I didn’t realize what that was until K found his voice!
Wesley is the same way with his “treasures.” Every time we come home from a store, he empties his pockets and I’m amazed at what he has just randomly picked up off the floor of stores. His main find are the white clips that hold clothes onto hangers - loves them.
he wants to hold on to the things that mean something. like the stones are from grandmas and the baits are from fishing. it runs in the family.