Guest Post Courtesy of Dorothy @ Grammology

I’m heading over to one of our local colleges next week to discuss sex, drugs, and alcohol with some of my granddaughters student friends. I’m a little nervous as I know some of the kids, and I’m a bit fearful of what they‘ll say. My experience has been terrific however; as they tell me what’s really on their minds I find my self hoping my response will help and support them in a positive way.

Times are different for kids today. I’d like to share more of what I see regarding young adults who have no place to call home. This is a real issue for more students and young adults then most of us will ever admit. I ‘m not implying we’re not good parents, most of the bloggers I read about, go above and beyond what they need to do for their families. They are involved and write and want to read about what is up with our children today… However, there are parents who think life owes them something and continue to live as though they have no obligations other then themselves. The young adults I’m referring too are friends of my grandchildren or go to a local church where there are youth groups and get together where we see and hear how lonely it can be for those who are alone and has no one to help them cope with every day issues.

Our experience shows both mom and dads can be poor parents. The MO is usually the same. The parents are hooked on drugs & alcohol. Or they married young and want to capture their youth which they feel they were cheated out of by having kids during or just out of high school. You’re probably saying, “wow is she critical and what’s going on in her family’s life?” Well all of the above, we are far from perfect and my grandchildren have shown us the good, the bad, and the ugly. We continue to battle and try to understand what’s going on today and how to manage every issue we encounter. This is not about judging families. Hopefully this will make you think and look around as to what you may have missed. I can’t believe our family is the only family seeing youths with no where to go!

I worked while my children were growing up. Making time for them was difficult and I never seemed to have as much time as I would have liked, however, they always knew I was working to pay the bills, and working towards giving them a good home and life. I loved my kids and I told them how much I loved them almost every day. I continue to do the same with my grandchildren age 4 to 26 including my daughter who is 41. Sharing hugs and squeezes was our signal during times we seemed to be passing in the wind. I never felt like they didn’t or now don’t know they are my life… However, this love did not exclude me from my
kids and grandchildren getting into trouble. After all that’s why I have so much to say in my blog.

My biggest fear when I speak with these kids (as I have in the past) is looking into their sad eyes and seeing the loneliness. We wonder can we make their lives better? My daughter is 41, raised 5 of her 7 children to adults, and is focusing on her last two (Noah 4 and William 12). She is not able to bring lonely children into her home anymore. They have in the past and now we’re working toward finding another way to help these kids. We wonder what the solution is for the throw away youth?

What can we do for them and who will take responsibility to give them direction and support? And how will these kids feel when they get through school and college? Will they want children? Or will they swear to never want a family having made it on their own. Today kids are taking entry level jobs and getting together with friends so they are able to share an inexpensive apartment. They gather together and try hard to live as normal as possible. If you think this is an exaggeration, think again. Our 18 year old granddaughter moved in with one of these groups several months ago and lived with them for a short time.

The lifestyle was beyond explanation & we felt as though we were in another world. Not the United States. There were several kids sticking together in this dump eating only when they had the money and literally living day to day. It was a very disturbing time for us. We gathered as a family and fought hard to get Mary back. She thought she wanted to say with the kids. I believe praying and fighting for Mary got her back to our home. It was an uphill battle and one I hope we never have to do again. Someday I hope she will tell her story so you know more about the kids which are out there with no real place to call home or any kind of financial mental support.

Do they have issues? You bet! Who wouldn’t when there was no one who cared if you lived or died. Some did drugs, all smoked and others were what I would call alcoholics’. Mary was doing all of the above as well. We were helpless for a time and I still don’t know for sure how we got her home. As I mentioned I hope to make her journey available on my blog from her perspective to help other families and let them know they can get through these troubling times.

So, why am I writing? I’m hoping to make you aware of the kids and young adults who don’t have a place to go. Or who are on there own struggling in college without financial or emotional support. Our youth is drinking, using drugs and accepting sex as a way of life in school. (There are bracelets which indicate sex without a commitment). More then we can imagine. Shouldn’t we ask ourself what can we do?

I’m going and hoping I can open the dialogue with these kids and their friends. So they will know they at least can talk about to someone who cares to listen. Then if they want advice and they usually do, we’ll talk about alternatives. Feeling better about yourself and what agencies are available if they want help.

Wish me luck, and the hope I am able to empower them by just showing them we care. I will let them know somebody with life experiences sees living life today is different then when we grew up; and maybe together we can make a difference in their lives.