Guest Post courtesy of my Mother

I have been a voyageur on the blogs for somewhere around almost a year. I admit to commenting on a few and watching the struggles and comedic actions of others. However there is one word/phrase/position that has not crossed my eyes. The word is “mother-in-law.”

With living together before marriage and the single lifestyle being the norm, has this term gone the way? What happened to all of these wicked witches?

My first mother-in-law, had she lived a longer life and the marriage lasted, would have prevented me from entering the eternal gates of heaven. She lived over fifty miles away and contact was scattered, but I always thought that no matter what I did on this earth God would never forgive me for how I felt about that woman.

At the age of forty you would have thought that in marrying for the second time, one would be more wise and realize that with this man also comes his mother. Over ten years have passed and it almost is a repeat performance. I often wonder if mother-in-law number two is not guiding my stars. Never have I fitted in with this woman who is loved by the rest of the world. There have been times when she almost acted like I was the one married to her son.

So after almost fourteen years of marriage, I have informed my husband that I have retreated. Given up. I’ve surrendered to the fact that she is never going to accept the the person married to her son. No words, no burying the hatchet, just a final resolve that this person has never and will never be a true mother-in-law to me.

As a result I have dedicated myself to being the best mother-in-law to my daughter’s husband that I can be. I am careful to watch the intrusions in their life and offer help when asked. I keep my influence to a very minimum.

One thing I forgot to add - my mother-in-law from husband number two recently went to live with her first daughter-in-law. On second thought maybe not being the favorite daughter-in-law was a blessing……

We interrupt this regularly scheduled vacation to bring you a picture from the French Quarter. Did you know you can buy drinks (like strawberry daiquiri’s) and walk around the city with them? How cool!!

Guest Post courtesy of Tiff @ Jail Diet

The brand new Charmin Ultra Diamond Weave commercials have gotten completely out of hand.

It’s enough seeing a bear going to the bathroom behind a tree and asking his fellow bear parent to basically “spare a square,” but this commercial takes it to a place I’d never expect…

Setting: Two bears in the forest.

Characters: The same old Charmin bears. One parent bear. The smaller companion bear.

Dilemma: There’s toilet paper stuck to the smaller bears bottom.

The story unfolds as such:
The larger bear first swats at the smaller bears bootie with a harsh-bristle broom. The toilet paper lint remains. In fact, lots of lint—so much lint that I believe the bear is a white bottom-skinned baboon. The larger bear then scrubs at the smaller bears butt with a steel-wool looking scrubbie.

Still, toilet paper shards are stuck to the bum of the bear.

Unsatisfied, the larger bear resorts to vacuuming the smaller bears ass.

Word to the wise: If you just use Charmin Ultra Diamond Weave you won’t be at risk for walking around with T.P. stuck to your bootie.

I have one question: Does anyone check his/her bum for toilet paper after using the bathroom? So much so that you need a partner in the bathroom with you to swat off the lint?

Who is this advertising “genius” that uses the old saying, “Does a bear poop in the woods?” and takes it to a whole-‘nother-level by translating it literally to having bears vacuuming lint off their companion’s furry bum?

Who is this advertising “genius” that thinks we consumers want to see blue ink dribbled down a piece of toilet paper to show us the amount of body fluids that we WON’T get on our hands?

Call me a prude, but these metaphors seem equally graphic as showing “the real deal.”

However, THIS link takes it another step grosser…Bears in a taxi cab. They get out at Times Square. The sign says, “You’re in New York. Go in Style.”

Get it? “Go” in style? Disgusting!

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

We’re headed out very soon. I’ll be able to connect from the sandy beaches so you may see a few pictures of umbrella drinks in my hand.

This is the first true vacation we’ve been on since I was pregnant with Ethan (nearly 5 1/2 years ago). We’ve made a few trips to visit the in-laws - which in no way would ever be considered a vacation!

Most of our time off has been spent in hospitals and doctor offices. Last summer I took 6 weeks off to stay home and sit in a recliner while recovering from a big surgery. Sound like fun? Not so much. Every Christmas since the accident I have spent recovering from surgery as well (and will be this year again). A vacation is much needed!

So we’re packing up and headed south. I’m sure the 12 hour car trip down there will provide enough blogging content for a months to come. We’ll be spending a few days in New Orleans and then we’re headed to Florida (Gulf side).

To keep you company I have a few guest posts lined up from a couple of my favorites. I think they will provide you with some variety in their writing styles.

Jail Diet - funky fresh & witty
Grammology - hip wisdom
Velveteen Mind - life of a mom articulate
My Mom - who doesn’t have a blog (but reads mine & many others)

See you soon!

I got berated this morning from a clerk at the gas station for no good reason. Big deal if I hand her a $20 for a 74 cent drink! Big deal if she has to count out $19.26 in change!

I’ve had issues at this gas station before. What I thought was quite humorous was this sign on the front door. Yes folks, they are asking that you please not smoke inside near the fireworks. The sad part is that somewhere, at some point, someone was smoking where fireworks are sold and it probably set off a few bottle rockets - which led to this warning sign.

I’m not even sure why they are still selling fireworks, but surely most people would be smart enough not to smoke at a gas station in the first place! Let alone around fireworks.

Most people yes, but apparently there are people who need a warning sign like this. The Parent Bloggers Network is talking about wacky warning labels such as on everyday products we use.

In today’s world do we really need all these warnings to protect ourselves (and companies) from getting sued? There are record numbers of frivolous lawsuits tying up our court system. Check out “Sick of Lawsuits” for more information on lawsuit abuse.

If you have a wacky warning label you can participate too! Go over to PBN for more info.