I went to pick Ethan up from his morning pre-k and he came out crying. Inconsolably crying. While I tried to understand what was wrong, I realized he didn’t have a stamp for the day.

His class has a behavior system where if they keep their butterfly in the sky or on the leaf (which means they had a warning), then they get a stamp at the end of the morning. If the butterfly ends up in the jar (which is time-out), they do not get a stamp.

Ethan’s had some difficulty not acting like a rambunctious 5 year old boy this school year. He doesn’t argue or get into fights with other children. Most of his issues are with talking too much or acting silly. If I had to choose between the two, I’d choose the latter. We certainly do not tolerate physical aggression in our house, so it’s comforting to know he gets along well with the other kids.

After several weeks of coming home day after day without a stamp and hearing his teacher voice her concerns with his recent behavior, we instituted some changes at home. I guess that around age 5 things stop getting handed to you and you have to earn them.

If he does not get a stamp at school that morning, then there is no tv that day. Other things he must earn are dessert and special treats such as getting a slush from Sonic (his favorite).

It seemed to make a difference at first that his behavior at school affected his privileges at home. Lately it’s been pretty patchy with him coming home with a stamp around 2 days a week. We always talk about why he didn’t get a stamp, what behavior got him in trouble and what he can do different the next day.

I will admit that there are times I believe his behavior is just “being a boy,” but I recognize that his teachers are trying to prepare him for kindergarten next year. They are wonderful women with a lot of experience and seem to handle the children with patience and love.

From Ethan’s crying today I gathered that he got in trouble, but he insisted his butterfly was only on the leaf (which would mean when he got in trouble it was his first offense and a warning - which also means he would have received a stamp). I encouraged him to go back inside with me and ask his teacher about it. She explained that they were at gym class and that the same rules that apply in their classroom, do not apply in the gym. So his warning was really a time-out, which is why he did not earn a stamp today.

Ethan was devastated and frankly confused. Since he knew he only got in trouble one time then in his mind it was a warning, because that is what comes first and he was fully expecting stamp.

I admit that I am no parenting or educational expert, but does this sound reasonable to you? That a 5 year old would understand this reasoning? Not only that, but this is the same teacher that originally suggested we use consistency between school and home in rules and consequences.

Am I being over-sensitive or over-protective? I just do not see the consistency in changing the consequences because they changed locations.

Our 5 year old son has been pointing out patterns to us lately. When we play a game together he lets us know the order to go in.

“Me, Mom, then Dad. Me, Mom, then Dad. That is a pattern.”

The other morning he let me know that we have patterns in the meals we eat.

“I always have a fruit or vegetable and milk with dinner. Every night. That is a pattern.”

But he also pointed out something I already knew.

“You and Dad always sleep on the same side of the bed.”

As with most couples we picked our sides early. I am the left and he is the right. His statement made me think about where else my husband and I have patterns in our life together. I came up with several and they are all dictated by keeping our predetermined sides.

We’ve divided the bathroom sink and cabinets - my side is the left and his is the right. Just like in bed.

Our parking spots in the driveway are dictated by the same pattern. Even our sides in the closet and our seats at the dining room table are determined from our sides of the bed.

We’ve been living our life in patterns that a 5 year old can notice. I hope he recognizes other sequences in our life - like that my husband always kisses us goodbye in the morning as he leaves for work. Every morning, no matter how late he is running.

Even if he grows up and becomes the right side of a his own marriage, there are some good patterns he can continue.

I’m very impressed that it only took 9 guesses to figure out what our son drew. Assertagirl won! It was leaves falling down from the sky as we went on a walk in the wood a few weekends ago.

Very good answers though: helium balloons, baseball caps, floating lollipops, dandelions, more suckers, aliens flying to the mother ship, balls in the air, raindrops, little blurbs of happiness, people, sperm, clouds or rays of sunshine, litter of children, snot, & love.

So Assertagirl be looking for some Starbucks in your mail soon. Thanks for participating!

If you only have time to read one great post today & you want it to be humorous, truthful and moving please go visit Mad Marriage! Trust me it’s worth the travel.

My husband and I both pondered this picture that our 5 year old drew over Thanksgiving. His artistic details and drawings are definitely improving, but this one had us puzzled. Honestly, doesn’t it look like sperm?

He explained it to us in a long drawn out ramble, but it’s nothing like we had imagined.

I’m interested in your guesses. The first person to guess correctly (leave a comment about what the circles with the line attached are) wins a $10 Starbucks gift card. I’ll leave it open until someone guesses correctly and I’ll let you know when you get it right.

Good luck!

If you are looking for another contest to enter, head over to Props & Pans. We’re giving away a kickTrak counter from Babykick! It is a really cool little device that Canape reviewed.

As I was writing a post for Props & Pans on the Black Friday sales today, I remembered an after Thanksgiving shopping experience I had about 7 years ago.

My cousin, Stephanie, and I would spend time at our Thanksgiving family lunch going through the sale ad’s and mapping out a plan of attack. The next morning we’d meet up insanely early and get in line, ready to shop.

Our most memorable trip was to ShopKo. I can’t remember what the big sale was we were after, but it was a department store similar to Target. We arrived 30 minutes before it opened and stood out in a dark, cold parking lot about 100 people back from the door at 4:30 a.m. shivering.

Once the store opened and we reached the inside there were no shopping carts left. We went started shopping and within minutes had an arm full. The more we looked around, the more we found. I had her stay put and hold our stuff while I went in search of something to carry our items in.

At first I looked for a laundry basket, but then realized how awkward it would be to carry. My next thought was a miniature toy shopping cart, but I had no luck in finding one. Finally, a light bulb went off!

I came running down the aisle yelling for Stephanie, “I’ve got it!” I will never forget how hard she laughed as I came towards her with a trash can on wheels. (Hell, it even had a lid!)

It was the perfect solution. I brought two, one for each of us. As we wheeled our items through the store, other customers stared and I’m sure they wondered if we were actually out at 5 a.m. to purchase trash cans.

One of the many things I miss about Stephanie is the great memories we would create in any situation. There wasn’t much I could do to embarrass her free spirit.

This morning I’m headed out to fight the crowds alone in search of some half-price Transformers at Toys-R-Us. As far as I know they don’t sell trash cans, but they do sell wagons. I may need to cause a scene just for her.

Edited: I left the house at 4:30 a.m. this morning thinking I’d at least get a decent parking spot at Toys-R-Us when they opened at 5 a.m. I was SOOO wrong! I parked behind the store in a mall parking lot across the street. There was a line from the front of the store around the back of the building and into the mall parking lot. Stunned, I opened my car door, stood up, felt the chilly 30 degree air and decided no Transformer was worth this madness. Even at half-price. So I headed back home to my warm bed.