I spent the weekend at a roller derby event in Nashville, Tennessee. Sounds interesting doesn’t it?

Interesting doesn’t even cover it!

The Music City Rhythm & Bruisers vs. The Bleeding Heartland Derby Girls.

Originally, I agreed to accompany my mother, her friend and her friend’s daughter (Allison) because of the outlet shopping opportunity. I knew there was some roller skating event that night we were going to.

I didn’t know my mom brought me a t-shirt promoting Allison’s team. Normally, I would disagree to wearing the same shirt as my mom in public, but compared to how everyone else was dressed, I looked way normal.

There was so much excitement! I can remember watching roller girls on TV with my grandmother and thinking it was fake (like wrestling), but this was real. I didn’t quite understand all the rules and terms (like jammer & bout), but I got the bottom line. Allison did awesome and I was impressed with her skills.

I don’t know how these girls kept their tempers in check. If some girl came racing by me and pushed me down, I think I’d come up swinging. There were a few penalty box elbows and the other team purposefully sandwiched Allison after the whistle during the first round, knocking the breath out of her.

In the program they all had names like “Smith N. Wesson,” “Killah B. Killed” & “Bamma Slamma.” There was also an ad from Aflac! Which I found very ironic.

Allison’s name was “Killer Kindness” which fits her very well. I would have never thought of her in this rough sport, but even though she comes off passive, she’s a killer on skates.

What’s even more ironic is that many of these woman skaters are professionals in real life. Allison has a full-time position at a university in human resources and is going to school to get her master’s degree.

My favorite was on the Nashville’s team - Hildabeast. Oh, what a beast she was! More like a tank that split the red sea when she skated by.

When I heard a story on the news this morning about yet another toy being recalled I was shocked. Not because of possible lead poisoning, this time it’s due to a date rape drug.

Seriously. You can read the news story here.

The toy is Aqua Dots, which my son has been asking for and I refused to buy because they look really messy and dumb. It’s a good thing we didn’t invest because now they are being recalled. The box says for ages 4 & up, but apparently some children started eating the dots (probably because it looks like candy) and when swallowed they caused the children involved to become unconscious.

It was later discovered that a chemical coating on the beads, when ingested, metabolizes into the date rape drug gamma hydroxy butyrate (GHB). I’m no scientist, but why are their so many chemicals in a children’s toy to begin with?

What ever happened to crayons and paper? Wooden toys? Plastic junk? Why are our kids ingesting lead and date rap drugs now? What’s next? Meth in the play dough?

I wonder how many teenage boys (or older) were scanning the stores today in search of a box left on the shelf? If they have younger siblings who already owned this toy, they’ll be selling the dots at school our of their locker before the Christmas dance. Everyone’s getting lucky thanks to Aqua Dots!

Don’t worry, there are no reports of children raping each other, just passing out!

I was never really an honor roll student. Bringing home C’s was an accomplishment.

My parents finally accepted the fact I was average early on and learned not to expect much of me. I think they were just relieved the short bus wasn’t pulling up in front of our house every morning and my mom didn’t have to take responsibility for smoking while pregnant (or that time they dropped me on my head).

They tried though. My mom always worked with me on homework, even when she wanted to beat her head against the wall because I didn’t understand that the word “sale” and “sail” were different.

I clearly remember our reading group names in second grade. Mine was the “turtles.” The better readers were in the “cougars” or the “jaguars.” See anything wrong with those titles? Nothing like labeling a kid slow in the second grade. Ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecy?

Story of my life. I was always in the lower class no matter what the subject. I had some pretty poor teachers along the way and some pretty good teachers. The poor ones let me slide through, which hurt more than it helped in the end. You would have thought the good ones would have noticed something was wrong, but most of them were too busy making sure all the students liked them.

College was a very different story. In some ways I excelled and in others I failed. When you are presented with subjects you truly enjoy learning it’s amazing how well you can do. But then came that one requirement I dreaded…college algebra.

I successfully failed 9 times, but before I made it to lucky number 9 there was a revelation.

One of the other general education requirements was an intro Economics course. It really was an interesting class and I did fine until I turned in a workbook full of hand-drawn graphs, which apparently were totally backwards. I didn’t see it, but the professor did. The next thing I know I’m in the learning center getting tested for dyslexia.

Most cases get caught early on, but I squeaked by. It just took me longer than most students to comprehend what I was learning. My brain sees something one way and I have to arrange it into the way I’ve memorized as being correct, before I can do anything with it.

Turns out I’m not slow, I’m special.

As you can imagine this has turned into quite the family joke. Anytime I mix something up it gets referenced. Like abdominal snowman instead of abominable snowman.

A good friend I work with is about to adopt a newborn next week. She’s been asking for advice on handling the transition from a couple to a family.

I’m not sure I can even remember how my husband and I went from two to three, but no matter how much people tell you that your life is about to change it won’t sink in until it actually happens.

You are so used to doing things together and now everything you plan for will involve an additional person by your side. And that additional person requires a lot of gear just to go to the grocery. Your individuality becomes intertwined with this new being and it’s easy to forget that before this branch grew, you and your spouse were the trunk of this family tree.

It didn’t take us long to realize that it was important for our family (and sanity) that we continue to have a separate relationship where we didn’t refer to each other as “mommy” and “daddy.” A dinner out where we were not cutting up someone’s meat or digging spare Cheerios out of the diaper bag, was needed.

When I mentioned this piece of advice to her she acted offended. I wasn’t suggesting they leave their newborn every other night to go out partying. Just be sure to make time together that didn’t involve the responsibility of a baby, so they could have a conversation or just sit in silence (which little do they know will be hard to come by soon).

Do couples date anymore? My husband and I try to go out either by ourselves or with some friends at least once a month if possible. Our son stays with my parents and it’s good for him to gain a little independence away from us and he gets spoiled rotten. A win-win for everyone involved.

I know this couple is very anxious about adopting and stressed about connecting with their child, but over time they will figure out what works best for their relationship and family.

I was asked to put the Kodak EasyShare 5300 All-In-One Printer to the test by Props & Pans. Of course I gladly agreed and now you can have the same experience I did. Kodak is graciously giving one lucky reader this same printer! To find out how head over to Props & Pans.

When asked if I would give a review on a Kodak printer, I was ecstatic because we have so many digital pictures that I haven’t printed simply because I’m too lazy to put them on a disk and head to the store. I didn’t expect such a massive machine to arrive that would offer to print, copy or scan anything my little heart I desired.

The Kodak EasyShare 5300 does all that and more. I love when products combine several tasks into one item and eliminate the need for several appliances to sit out on the desk or table. Although this printer is a little larger than I imagined, the quality of work makes up for the size.

I have to say that the pictures it printed were of high quality and the sharpness was terrific. Kodak is known for it’s brilliant colors and they’ve continued that tradition with this printer. It’s extremely user-friendly and worked well with both our digital camera and computer.

My biggest concern was the expense of buying refill ink cartridges. We had a photo printer several years ago that I finally gave up on because the refills were more expensive than having pictures printed. Much to my surprise Kodak offers black refill cartridges for under $10 and color cartridges for under $15. WOW! That is impressive and very affordable.

The scanner is great for pictures and images, as well as the copier. It’s only been up and running in our home for a week and I’ve already used the copier several times. The only way you could improve this product is to add “fax machine” to it’s list. It retails for just under $200 and is truly something every household could use.