The Long Road Out
I haven’t posted much this week because I can’t seem to write anything concise. The same thoughts keep running through my mind as I mentally prepare for yet another surgery on Friday.
Today, someone said a prayer for me at a meeting I attended out-of-town for work. In her prayer she thanked God for seeing me through this “tragedy” in my life. The dictionary defines tragedy as “a lamentable, dreadful, or fatal event or affair; calamity; disaster.” My entire three hour drive home I couldn’t get that word out of my mind.
Everyone will face tragedy in their lives at some point and we each measure its effects differently. From the definition I would consider losing a loved one or your house burning down to be a tragedy. To me surviving a serious car accident against all odds is a triumph, no matter what the cost has been.
The road to here has been long and hard. There have been many times I’ve considered the alternative. What if I wasn’t here? Sometimes I resent myself for harboring anger and sadness that my life, as it is now, isn’t enough.
It should be MORE than I’m worthy of. I have a husband who loves my son and I more than anything else and would give his life for us without hesitation. I have a healthy, vibrant son who continues to love me unconditionally, despite my parenting faults. We have a house that we’ve made into a home and food to fill our cabinets. We may not be wealthy, but we are rich with family, friends and faith.
I know all this, yet I still can’t get past what I don’t have and what I still must face. The fact my left arm doesn’t straighten and that I must walk down steps one at a time, is not a tragedy. Displaying a few scars here and there isn’t a tragedy, it’s proof I’ve lived. Having only one child is not a tragedy either, in fact it’s a blessing many don’t have the opportunity to experience.
So the road has been long, but it has taken us out of what could have been a tragedy. For that I thank God.
Your post is so filled with your real emotion. It was wonderful to read. It made my heart tense up..as I thought how strong you are and how grateful you’ve become of life. Of it’s struggles, and those yet to come. It doesn’t mean you have to think they won’t be long, hard, and harsh..yet I think you’ve committed to going through them for the family who loves and needs you. Thank you for writing your feelings..it’s an important part of the journey.
My best,
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram
All I can say is wow. You are so honest. I’m sure it helps to write out your thoughts here. Thank you for sharing and may your heart fine peace tomorrow.
I love your honestly Emily.
Your accident, though it may have been tragic at the time, is a miracle. A miracle that you’re here and doing so well. Though the surgeries may be difficult and trying, I believe they are better then the alternative. The world would be a changed place without you here.
I’ll be thinking about you!
You have suffered and you have every right to harbor sadness about that, in spite of your abundant blessings. You have real pain and you faced real hardship, and I don’t think anyone would expect you to be grateful every day.
I’ll be thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery. Good luck, friend.
Acknowledging a tragedy or down time, a challenge, isn’t negating the gratitude you do (clearly) have. It means being honest and human.
Good luck on Friday.
Julie
Using My Words
E, you will be in my constant thoughts tomorrow.
To be on the side of tragedy that you are on - the other side - shows how incredibly strong you are.
You will be in my prayers tomorrow. I have faith in your strength and your spirit. The word tragedy no longer applies to you, your new word is Inspiration…..
YES, YOU ARE INDEED AN INSPIRATION!!
I will have you in my heart, all day, friend. You inspire more than you know.
Prayers for you tomorrow!
Sending you positive thoughts and lots of prayers for your surgery today. You have definitely triumphed!
It’s funny how semantics can get to us, isn’t it? My mother uses the word “devastated” far too often, and I’ve started pointing it out to her. To me, devastation is the burning down of one’s home, being diagnosed with cancer, losing a child.
You have great perspective and a strong heart. Hugs.
(Also, thank you for the Starbucks gift card! I think there’s only about $2 left on it already!)
Well if that isn’t a chin-up type of post I don’t know what is. I admire your courage and just want to say thinking of you today.
good thoughts to you during your surgery and recovery.
I’m thinking ofyou. I hope your surgery went well. You have a very positive outlook on this.
I hope everything went well.
A very powerful post. I love your attitude.
[…] it’s over and thank you for the positive thoughts. It went fine. The orthopedic doctor cleaned out the ankle joint, removed some bone that had grown […]
Great post which clearly reflects the attitude your entire family has - you didn’t have a tragedy - you had a life changing experience that you have survived magnificantly!