Come Carry My Cross For A Day
Dear Father-in-law,
I realize I owe you a certain amount of respect and I think I’ve given you that over the years. Especially during the phone conversations that I sometimes endure, where we recap your weather. I only said a few curse words when I came home last year to find 960 lbs. of rubber in my driveway. The fact that I stared at those rubber animals for many, many months and was still willing to spend a week with you over the 4th of July says a lot. Considering you wouldn’t turn your air-conditioning on during that week of 90 degree weather and that I still answer the phone when you call, says even more!
Given that you are my husband’s father and the grandfather of my son, I am willing to overlook the memory of driving 6 hours by myself to a family wedding where you tried to seat me 2 rows behind an adopted brother you just met. I don’t even hold a grudge. But I have already changed my will to include where you will sit at my funeral, should I happen to die before you.
I admit that I’m still chuckling over you asking our 5 year old to be a paul bearer a few months ago. Sorry, can’t help that one. But for the most part you and I get along pretty well. We have a give and take relationship. I give you a lot of room to talk and you take it.
Here is where I draw the line though. Don’t call me for the first time since I was hospitalized with a serious infection (a month ago) and complain about having arthroscopic knee surgery this week. I’ve been down that road a few times and my best advice is that it could be worse.
I realize we all have our own cross to bear and some are heavier than others. I truly get that, because my struggles are my own and cannot be measured against someone else’s.
However, calling and bitching to me about how worried you are that you won’t make it and you will be off work 3 days, just about pushed me over the top. It doesn’t help that I visited the infectious disease doctor today only to find out that my PICC line will not be coming out for two more weeks, because the infection is far from gone. I’m still running a fever off and on which isn’t a good sign. Remember that car accident where I lost my spleen? Well, infections don’t heal well without a strong immune system (which I do not have).
My medical experts are concerned about the screw in my heel and believe since that is the site of my pain, it may need to be removed. That would be surgery #29 I’m now facing.
But let’s not talk about me, let’s talk about you. Shall we?
tonight, i celebrate my love…for you.
Oy. Some people are just like that and have absolutely no awareness of anyone else. He’s not going to change. Good thing he doesn’t live down the street. Sorry to hear about your screw issues.
oh babe. pall bearer? seriously???
wow. and the rest?
there aren’t words for this sort of thing.
I loved this post. Don’t you just hate it when in-laws are so freakin’ self-absorbed? Oh - and I too have written a little attachment to my will which states exactly what I think my in-laws should be entitled to should I go before them… (it’s not much more than a kick in the pants actually…)
Oh how I wish he would really read this.
Wow… between your stories about your father and now this about Nate’s, you two really hit the jackpot in the dad department, eh?
I hope you’re feeling better soon, and that the infection clears.
btw: I’ve got a hangnail and it really hurts but I’m afraid to cut it because what if it bleeds and then I have to put a bandaid on it and then that gets stuck and it really hurts coming off because I really hate peeling off bandaids….
Wow Emily, that sucks; but I am so glad you wrote this. I had to write a letter finally to my biological father because he used every excuse under the sun (once I finally met him) to not visit his grandchildren when we lived 10 minutes away in the same town. Go figure. I gave up and realized right then and there why I had seen him in 24 years….he is a completely self absorbed “bleep”.
Take care and hang in there!
Emily, I’m so sorry that things are not going as they should. I’m praying that you don’t have to have another surgery and that infection clears up.
Looking forward to the day you can celebrate by showering without saran wrap.
First, sorry to hear that your wounds aren’t healing up as quickly as you deserve. You’ve been more than a trooper!
I know you won’t send this post to your FIL, but it probably feels a smidgen better to get this one off your chest. And that’s what blogging is for, right?
I LOVE blogs. I love the vents, I love knowing that other people have self absorbed wacko relatives they have to put up with.
I’m sorry that you’re not healing as fast as you would like. Stay strong.
I’m also sorry that you have someone in your life like this.
I think I WOULD stop picking up the phone.
Oh honey, I am so sorry for all you are going though. It must seem as if there is no end. Sorry I haven’t been by in a while:)
Love that you wrote this post, expressing what so many of us feel when dealing with particular family members, well written with a touch of humour. Your wonderful attitude in the midst of all your struggles astounds me. I just hope there is an end to this medical nightmare soon. Take care.
I’m so sorry things do not look up for you.
I hear ya on the in-laws. Mine did not call when my son, their grandson, was hospitilazed. They also have not called the check upon him. Nice, huh?
ditto to all the above “I’m Sorries”.
I am thinking of you and wishing you good health vibes….. here’s hoping another 2 weeks of antibiotics knocks that bug out of your body and out of that screw….
Oh, gosh, that’s exactly like my father. I am so sorry you have to go through that on top of everything else. Hope you heal soon.
Sending healing prayers your way Emily! And I have to say, you are a much better person than I am. I would have stopped answering that phone years ago. And I did. I wont’ pick up the phone for my inlaws.
Some people are just completely oblivious.
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