Influential Support
Life is happening all around me and I’m finally able to participate. My ankle is better, not healed, but good enough that I can walk (or limp) without the metal chopsticks that cause more problems then they are worth.
I’m not certain the 7 day steroid pack I took had much to do with this improvement. I’m also not inclined to believe the glorified ice pack was a lot of help. They were all band-aids to the problem. When I was in the hospital after the accident, a co-worker and friend of my mom, took it upon herself to send a well-known priest a request to pray for me and my recovery. I’ll admit that when I received the package from him in the mail - complete with a little white prayer cloth that had been specially blessed - I thought it was cheesy.
Turns out I had a lot of people praying for me and my family during that time. My name was all over church prayer lists and uttered by people I did not even know. At the time I found it thoughtful, but not helpful. After all, I had survived and I was alive. What good would prayer do now?
Then, came the morphine withdrawals. After 30 days on straight morphine they had to take away the constant pump. I ended up with pretty severe withdrawals and pain. The kind of pain where you wonder if dying wasn’t the better option. During those blurry days my mom took the white cloth out of the envelope and placed it in my hand, telling me to clinch it and pray.
It is when you are helpless and suffering that you are most likely to seek help. So I did. Although it in no way took away my pain, it helped. Some people may say it just distracted me and allowed my pain to be redirected, but I have faith that it went beyond just that. Over the following months of numerous surgeries and lots of physical therapy I continued to build inner strength from prayer.
I contribute our lives continuing in a good direction to that. There were many, many times I wanted to give up and call it quits. On life, on my marriage, on my family. But prayer kept me centered and allowed peace in my heart.
Sometimes we forget which road led us to today. Last week I felt like my life was unraveling at the seams. I felt hopeless and defeated, and wondered how much more I could take. While attending a meeting someone mentioned this priest’s name and instantly I remembered how well prayer saved me from darkness before.
That night I found myself laying in bed alone and instead of thinking negative thoughts I prayed for all the positive things I have to be thankful for. Each day this week my ankle has felt a little better. It will never be healed completely. I’m not expecting miracles, but I won’t stop praying.
My name is Emily. I’m 30 years old. I have often been told that I ask a lot of questions, but I think I have more to say than ask.
and neither will we
TEARS OF HAPPINESS ARE STREAMING ARE GATHERING ………….
Prayer is an amazing thing. We firmly believe in it around here and there are more people STILL praying for you than you probably imagine.
On another note, your mom bought you a ticket to go to the roller derby with us on March 29th, so mark your calendar and get ready to roll.
Get it — roll…… what can I tell you, it’s early.
Amen sister! *chuckle*
(((Emily)))
This is gorgeous. I ache for all you’ve been through and then for you to come out still so beautiful…that s the faith behind the prayer.
This is so encouraging and your Faith is inspiring. You have been in so many people’s prayers, even here in the bloggy world. I am glad that you can take strength in your faith and in your blessings.
We are all still praying, too.
I so understand every word written. I feel absolutely the same way and continue to ask God to let me feel his light. Give me his strength to continue. Life is so different when you sick or in pain.
Thank you for writing those wonderful reassuring words. Reminding any of us who forgot what the true high power is in our lives.
My prayers for you and your continued strength..
Dorothy from grammoloygy
oh honey. a corner. you’ve turned a corner.
(cause for celebration)
i’m not one to pray, being as though i don’t believe in god. but, i did hear something neat that mr. depak chopra said while doing his book tour for the third jesus. he mentioned something about how the prayer in our deepest struggles are often weak prayers, but the prayers that “get through” are those when we forgive ourselves, ask for strength and guidance, and are thankful–passing along our hope to others in exchange for their good fortune and thoughts.
i agree with him and perhaps that’s why i wasn’t ever big on praying because i was taught the “incorrect” way to pray. sometimes in deep deep desparation i find myself praying and i’m like, “what’s going on–what the hell am i doing, what good is this going to do?” but i guess it’s natural. we need to draw upon other’s strengths when we feel we cannot gather enough to collect our own. this good will energy i do believe in and have deep faith in.
I don’t necessarily believe that God will fix things because we pray. But I believe in spreading good energy through prayer. Prayers are like water flowing though a system, streaming to all the low parts that need it most.
I will put you on the prayer list at my church.
If you ever need prayer, you can call 1-800-PRAYNOW for non-denominational prayer support 24 hours a day.
Since I’ve been introduced to you through this electronic world of magic, I’ve said a few ’special’ Indian (N.A.) words for you daily. Like the Jewish moms say, ‘can’t hurt’. Morhine withdrawel stinks. Been on and off it since 1993, more on than off, and still looking for a way to lessen the impact each time they change meds:)