I’m not entirely sure when it happened or maybe I should say when it all began, but there is a big difference between the 5 year old who attended pre-k and the 6 year old who is now in kindergarten.

A few months ago when we’d leave him for the day at pre-k, we were told to stick only to hugs. No kisses. I was alright with that. There were other kids around and I’m sure he was afraid of the attention it drew.

Then, before bedtime the kisses were met with a scorned look of disgust. There were many evenings of hearing the repeated phase, “No kisses, just hugs.”

When I asked him why we could no longer give him kisses he replied, “I still love you, but I don’t need you to kiss me. I can just tell you I love you.”

At the first day of kindergarten I walked him inside the school and to his room. He stopped me at the door entrance and asked me, “Today’s the only day you’ll do this right?” My 6 year old who used to rely on me to feed him, dress him and hold him didn’t need me today. The problem is that I still need him.

As I walked out of the school I watched as a few other children were crying and clinging to their mother’s. I’m not sure which situation I’d rather be in - feeling needed or feeling guilty?

Since that first morning I’ve dropped him off at the front door and watched this growing little boy walk from our car to the school looking like a little man. I’m grateful he’s confident and independent, but I’m also sad to think each day we get a little bit closer to losing him.

Much like a butterfly, he’s left his cocoon and we’ve had to let him fly. My only hope is that the world realizes how precious he is and that although he is 6, he’s still just a child.