Guest Post Courtesy of Dorothy @ Grammology

I’m heading over to one of our local colleges next week to discuss sex, drugs, and alcohol with some of my granddaughters student friends. I’m a little nervous as I know some of the kids, and I’m a bit fearful of what they‘ll say. My experience has been terrific however; as they tell me what’s really on their minds I find my self hoping my response will help and support them in a positive way.

Times are different for kids today. I’d like to share more of what I see regarding young adults who have no place to call home. This is a real issue for more students and young adults then most of us will ever admit. I ‘m not implying we’re not good parents, most of the bloggers I read about, go above and beyond what they need to do for their families. They are involved and write and want to read about what is up with our children today… However, there are parents who think life owes them something and continue to live as though they have no obligations other then themselves. The young adults I’m referring too are friends of my grandchildren or go to a local church where there are youth groups and get together where we see and hear how lonely it can be for those who are alone and has no one to help them cope with every day issues.

Our experience shows both mom and dads can be poor parents. The MO is usually the same. The parents are hooked on drugs & alcohol. Or they married young and want to capture their youth which they feel they were cheated out of by having kids during or just out of high school. You’re probably saying, “wow is she critical and what’s going on in her family’s life?” Well all of the above, we are far from perfect and my grandchildren have shown us the good, the bad, and the ugly. We continue to battle and try to understand what’s going on today and how to manage every issue we encounter. This is not about judging families. Hopefully this will make you think and look around as to what you may have missed. I can’t believe our family is the only family seeing youths with no where to go!

I worked while my children were growing up. Making time for them was difficult and I never seemed to have as much time as I would have liked, however, they always knew I was working to pay the bills, and working towards giving them a good home and life. I loved my kids and I told them how much I loved them almost every day. I continue to do the same with my grandchildren age 4 to 26 including my daughter who is 41. Sharing hugs and squeezes was our signal during times we seemed to be passing in the wind. I never felt like they didn’t or now don’t know they are my life… However, this love did not exclude me from my
kids and grandchildren getting into trouble. After all that’s why I have so much to say in my blog.

My biggest fear when I speak with these kids (as I have in the past) is looking into their sad eyes and seeing the loneliness. We wonder can we make their lives better? My daughter is 41, raised 5 of her 7 children to adults, and is focusing on her last two (Noah 4 and William 12). She is not able to bring lonely children into her home anymore. They have in the past and now we’re working toward finding another way to help these kids. We wonder what the solution is for the throw away youth?

What can we do for them and who will take responsibility to give them direction and support? And how will these kids feel when they get through school and college? Will they want children? Or will they swear to never want a family having made it on their own. Today kids are taking entry level jobs and getting together with friends so they are able to share an inexpensive apartment. They gather together and try hard to live as normal as possible. If you think this is an exaggeration, think again. Our 18 year old granddaughter moved in with one of these groups several months ago and lived with them for a short time.

The lifestyle was beyond explanation & we felt as though we were in another world. Not the United States. There were several kids sticking together in this dump eating only when they had the money and literally living day to day. It was a very disturbing time for us. We gathered as a family and fought hard to get Mary back. She thought she wanted to say with the kids. I believe praying and fighting for Mary got her back to our home. It was an uphill battle and one I hope we never have to do again. Someday I hope she will tell her story so you know more about the kids which are out there with no real place to call home or any kind of financial mental support.

Do they have issues? You bet! Who wouldn’t when there was no one who cared if you lived or died. Some did drugs, all smoked and others were what I would call alcoholics’. Mary was doing all of the above as well. We were helpless for a time and I still don’t know for sure how we got her home. As I mentioned I hope to make her journey available on my blog from her perspective to help other families and let them know they can get through these troubling times.

So, why am I writing? I’m hoping to make you aware of the kids and young adults who don’t have a place to go. Or who are on there own struggling in college without financial or emotional support. Our youth is drinking, using drugs and accepting sex as a way of life in school. (There are bracelets which indicate sex without a commitment). More then we can imagine. Shouldn’t we ask ourself what can we do?

I’m going and hoping I can open the dialogue with these kids and their friends. So they will know they at least can talk about to someone who cares to listen. Then if they want advice and they usually do, we’ll talk about alternatives. Feeling better about yourself and what agencies are available if they want help.

Wish me luck, and the hope I am able to empower them by just showing them we care. I will let them know somebody with life experiences sees living life today is different then when we grew up; and maybe together we can make a difference in their lives.

Guest Post courtesy of my Mother

I have been a voyageur on the blogs for somewhere around almost a year. I admit to commenting on a few and watching the struggles and comedic actions of others. However there is one word/phrase/position that has not crossed my eyes. The word is “mother-in-law.”

With living together before marriage and the single lifestyle being the norm, has this term gone the way? What happened to all of these wicked witches?

My first mother-in-law, had she lived a longer life and the marriage lasted, would have prevented me from entering the eternal gates of heaven. She lived over fifty miles away and contact was scattered, but I always thought that no matter what I did on this earth God would never forgive me for how I felt about that woman.

At the age of forty you would have thought that in marrying for the second time, one would be more wise and realize that with this man also comes his mother. Over ten years have passed and it almost is a repeat performance. I often wonder if mother-in-law number two is not guiding my stars. Never have I fitted in with this woman who is loved by the rest of the world. There have been times when she almost acted like I was the one married to her son.

So after almost fourteen years of marriage, I have informed my husband that I have retreated. Given up. I’ve surrendered to the fact that she is never going to accept the the person married to her son. No words, no burying the hatchet, just a final resolve that this person has never and will never be a true mother-in-law to me.

As a result I have dedicated myself to being the best mother-in-law to my daughter’s husband that I can be. I am careful to watch the intrusions in their life and offer help when asked. I keep my influence to a very minimum.

One thing I forgot to add - my mother-in-law from husband number two recently went to live with her first daughter-in-law. On second thought maybe not being the favorite daughter-in-law was a blessing……

Guest Post courtesy of Tiff @ Jail Diet

The brand new Charmin Ultra Diamond Weave commercials have gotten completely out of hand.

It’s enough seeing a bear going to the bathroom behind a tree and asking his fellow bear parent to basically “spare a square,” but this commercial takes it to a place I’d never expect…

Setting: Two bears in the forest.

Characters: The same old Charmin bears. One parent bear. The smaller companion bear.

Dilemma: There’s toilet paper stuck to the smaller bears bottom.

The story unfolds as such:
The larger bear first swats at the smaller bears bootie with a harsh-bristle broom. The toilet paper lint remains. In fact, lots of lint—so much lint that I believe the bear is a white bottom-skinned baboon. The larger bear then scrubs at the smaller bears butt with a steel-wool looking scrubbie.

Still, toilet paper shards are stuck to the bum of the bear.

Unsatisfied, the larger bear resorts to vacuuming the smaller bears ass.

Word to the wise: If you just use Charmin Ultra Diamond Weave you won’t be at risk for walking around with T.P. stuck to your bootie.

I have one question: Does anyone check his/her bum for toilet paper after using the bathroom? So much so that you need a partner in the bathroom with you to swat off the lint?

Who is this advertising “genius” that uses the old saying, “Does a bear poop in the woods?” and takes it to a whole-‘nother-level by translating it literally to having bears vacuuming lint off their companion’s furry bum?

Who is this advertising “genius” that thinks we consumers want to see blue ink dribbled down a piece of toilet paper to show us the amount of body fluids that we WON’T get on our hands?

Call me a prude, but these metaphors seem equally graphic as showing “the real deal.”

However, THIS link takes it another step grosser…Bears in a taxi cab. They get out at Times Square. The sign says, “You’re in New York. Go in Style.”

Get it? “Go” in style? Disgusting!

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

We’re headed out very soon. I’ll be able to connect from the sandy beaches so you may see a few pictures of umbrella drinks in my hand.

This is the first true vacation we’ve been on since I was pregnant with Ethan (nearly 5 1/2 years ago). We’ve made a few trips to visit the in-laws - which in no way would ever be considered a vacation!

Most of our time off has been spent in hospitals and doctor offices. Last summer I took 6 weeks off to stay home and sit in a recliner while recovering from a big surgery. Sound like fun? Not so much. Every Christmas since the accident I have spent recovering from surgery as well (and will be this year again). A vacation is much needed!

So we’re packing up and headed south. I’m sure the 12 hour car trip down there will provide enough blogging content for a months to come. We’ll be spending a few days in New Orleans and then we’re headed to Florida (Gulf side).

To keep you company I have a few guest posts lined up from a couple of my favorites. I think they will provide you with some variety in their writing styles.

Jail Diet - funky fresh & witty
Grammology - hip wisdom
Velveteen Mind - life of a mom articulate
My Mom - who doesn’t have a blog (but reads mine & many others)

See you soon!