I’m not sure what I was thinking when my mother-in-law asked if it was still alright for her and our two nieces, to come visit over spring break (after I told them we in the midst of packing and getting our house ready to sell) and I said SURE! We welcomed them into our very small, two bedroom/one bath home last night and I’m already dreading the fact I’ve got to go back and touch-up all the walls and baseboards that I just touched-up with paint this week.

I thought that today we’d get out of the house and destroy someone else’s property. So off to the children’s museum we headed. Great plan considering every child in the tri-state area is out of school and every mom on their last frazzled nerve headed there too!

It was fun and the kids did enjoy the exhibits and a special dinosaur presentation, but it only lasted a few hours before we were back home and bouncing off our own walls again. Really it isn’t the fact that they make messes and seem to go through drinks like small camels. My issue is the yelling. And the door slamming. And the whining. I can’t handle those three things for very long without losing it entirely.

You know how it is with disciplining someone else’s child. I’m stern and not afraid to tell either of them to stop jumping on the bed or to pick up their toys, but I feel out of place telling them to knock it off or else - over and over again.

Ethan’s been a little upset with the fact that he gets in trouble for doing the same things his cousins don’t get in trouble for. We don’t tolerate a lot of the behaviors that they are allowed to display. At the museum today I had packed snacks and drinks for everyone. When we sat down to eat, one of my nieces threw a fit about getting a snack from the vending machine and not eating one of the 3 things I packed. My MIL quickly gave in and then offered to get Ethan something as well. I refused stating that he could eat what I brought or do without. He didn’t protest, because he knew that is how we roll.

It’s the little differences like that which make things hard. But he is enjoying spending time with them, even if they are bouncing all over 1,000 square feet of our home. My husband worked today leaving me to provide the entertainment, but tomorrow night I’m headed here to watch my friend try not to break anything.

Dear Father-in-law,

I realize I owe you a certain amount of respect and I think I’ve given you that over the years. Especially during the phone conversations that I sometimes endure, where we recap your weather. I only said a few curse words when I came home last year to find 960 lbs. of rubber in my driveway. The fact that I stared at those rubber animals for many, many months and was still willing to spend a week with you over the 4th of July says a lot. Considering you wouldn’t turn your air-conditioning on during that week of 90 degree weather and that I still answer the phone when you call, says even more!

Given that you are my husband’s father and the grandfather of my son, I am willing to overlook the memory of driving 6 hours by myself to a family wedding where you tried to seat me 2 rows behind an adopted brother you just met. I don’t even hold a grudge. But I have already changed my will to include where you will sit at my funeral, should I happen to die before you.

I admit that I’m still chuckling over you asking our 5 year old to be a paul bearer a few months ago. Sorry, can’t help that one. But for the most part you and I get along pretty well. We have a give and take relationship. I give you a lot of room to talk and you take it.

Here is where I draw the line though. Don’t call me for the first time since I was hospitalized with a serious infection (a month ago) and complain about having arthroscopic knee surgery this week. I’ve been down that road a few times and my best advice is that it could be worse.

I realize we all have our own cross to bear and some are heavier than others. I truly get that, because my struggles are my own and cannot be measured against someone else’s.

However, calling and bitching to me about how worried you are that you won’t make it and you will be off work 3 days, just about pushed me over the top. It doesn’t help that I visited the infectious disease doctor today only to find out that my PICC line will not be coming out for two more weeks, because the infection is far from gone. I’m still running a fever off and on which isn’t a good sign. Remember that car accident where I lost my spleen? Well, infections don’t heal well without a strong immune system (which I do not have).

My medical experts are concerned about the screw in my heel and believe since that is the site of my pain, it may need to be removed. That would be surgery #29 I’m now facing.

But let’s not talk about me, let’s talk about you. Shall we?

Have you seen the commercial advertising that Paige Davis is returning to host Trading Spaces on TLC? I loved that show from the beginning, but when she suddenly left I lost interest. For some reason her almost annoying perkiness and antics made that show fun to watch. Without her you were left with two arrogant designers and a few nervous homeowners.

With Paige back, TLC is switching things up. In the advertisement they ask if you could trade spaces with your ex or your mother-in-law. Can you imagine? I can’t, which makes me all the more excited for the upcoming show on Saturday’s (January 27th is the premiere).

I don’t have an ex, unless you count that guy I refer to as Rat-Boy that I dated back in high school, but I do have 2 mother-in-law’s. (No, we don’t live in Utah. My husband’s parents are divorced and his father is remarried.) I get along very well with my husband’s mother and we have similar tastes in decorating, but his step-mother and I differ in this area quite a bit.

I shop at places like Big Lots and outlets, so I can proudly tell you the price of most of the items I display in our house. My step-mother shops at very pricey stores and insists that your pillow cases match your lamp shade. I’m lucky if our pillow cases match the sheets!

Now if they cast me on this show and I was trading spaces with Rat-Boy, I would honestly staple rubber rats all over his walls. Maybe I’d add a few snakes in there too just for fun.

Honestly, I can’t say that I have any particular style. I like to be surrounded with warm colors and things that remind me of family. I couldn’t tell you the difference between French Country and Contemporary. A designer would probably take one look at my style and classify it as, “What Was On Sale!”

I know I’ve said before that my in-laws weren’t exactly the sharpest crayon in the box. I may have even said they were certifiably crazy. Well here is your proof.

My husband’s grandfather passed away Sunday night. He was a very quiet man with a strong work ethic. I always enjoyed visiting him, because he lived simply. Nothing fancy here folks. One Christmas my father-in-law got him a remote starter for his car and his response after they explained what it did was, “The day I can’t start my own car, will be the day I quit driving.” His honesty and frankness reminded me a lot of my own grandmother, who also didn’t see the need for all the latest inventions.

My husband traveled alone (his choice) to the funeral this week. We stayed home because there were Christmas programs, work and pre-op appointments that really couldn’t be missed. Plus we were just up there by ourselves for a wedding.

Before that was decided his father asked if Ethan would want to be a paul bearer. Yes, that’s right our 5 year old carrying a casket! This boy can’t even pick up his own toys. It took a few minutes to catch our breath. Is that not one of the most ridiculous things you’ve ever heard?

It gets better. When they called my husband’s sister (you know the one with 4 illegitimate kids) to let her know about her grandfather’s death the first questions were - “When will you read the will?” & “When will you go through his house?” No kidding. She’s what you call a gold-digger.

My husband called last night to tell me that on the way to the funeral his sister ran off the road and hurt her neck. She ended up being transported to the same hospital (1 1/2 hours away) that her grandfather died at. They admitted her and it looks like she will be alright, but may need surgery down the road.

See any irony there? She missed the funeral, but thankfully was released today.

The best story I’ve heard thus far is that my husband found out some big family secret today at the funeral home. Turns out Grandpa was married once before and had another son and no one ever told him. It’s a little awkward when a guy (your father’s age) walks up and introduces himself to you as your Grandpa’s son, when as far as you know there are only two - your father and your uncle.

You couldn’t make this stuff up! Their family would make a great reality show. I can’t wait to hear all the other stories my husband will have of the insanity that always follows a trip to the “dreaded North” as we’ve named it.

For some good news ~ head over to Props & Pans to register to win a Bed Head Dual Wave Iron!!! I recently reviewed their ionic hair dryer and I must say it was pretty cool. The wave iron is part of their new “Light Me Up” collection.

I drove over 6 hours to my husband’s step-sisters wedding this weekend and stayed with my in-laws. Alone. With a 5 year old.

My husband ending up having to work at the last minute and being as though our son was in the wedding it was important that we attend. After a few promises of cleaning the carpet and a big Christmas gift we were headed north and my husband was enjoying some peace and quiet.

Hearing the familiar story about how my father-in-law sprained his ankle 20 years ago and it has caused him problems ever since is painful. The biggest laugh of my weekend came when he proceeded to tell me about some tendons he tore in his knee the other week and how his chiropractor “fixed him up.”

This visit provided a new realm of entertainment. The wedding was the usual chaos:

Bride doesn’t invite her mother’s family causing hurt feelings. Bride decides the ring bearer should be at the church 4 hours before the wedding. Bride catches groom drinking shots before the wedding and threatens to call it off 5 minutes before the wedding. Bride’s 15 year old daughter is only 12 years younger than her new step-dad.

You know…the usual.

The kicker was when my father-in-law escorted me down the aisle to a pew and had me sitting 8 rows back. Really I didn’t care where I sat, but the idea of sitting 2 rows behind his adopted brother (whom he just met a few months ago) was kind of insulting. Shows where I rank.

I didn’t drive 6 hours, spend the weekend alone with them and wrestle a 5 year old at a church for 4 hours to sit behind his long lost brother.

I’m pretty used to my in-laws odd nature. I make it a point not to drink the water when we visit, because I’m convinced that is why the are all crazy.

But then again this is the man who thinks navy and black are one color.