As promised here is my letter for today. My parents divorced while I was in middle school (good timing, as if things aren’t hard enough for a 13 year old!). When my father moved out and into an apartment down the street he immediately “hooked up” with the lady (named Louise) across the hall. By immediately I mean like the night he moved in!

Several months later I went through confirmation at church. Our family came and my father was invited as well. He demanded I invite Louise. Let’s re-cap: this was less than 4 months after he moved out & he wanted me to invite this lady he was screwing to a church event where my mom would be?

I refused. It was a family event, she was not part of my family…no matter how many times he screwed her. So in the end he didn’t come. Pretty sad I think, but his loss. {By the way they moved in together a couple months later and then broke up a 2 years after that.}

This is the letter I received with the confirmation card:

My Dearest Daughter,

It saddens me that you were selfish enough to exclude the one person I care about from attending your confirmation. What a well mannered young lady you’re turning out to be. I’m sure your mother is to blame for most of that.

In the future you should know I will expect you to invite Louise and be friendly to her. She loves you kids very much d*mn it! You should treat her with respect.

It’s not her fault you mom and me got divorced. And it’s not mine either. You need to grow up and accept her as part of your new family.

Love,
Dad

Now it’s your turn. Give me your worst dad story & win prizes! Check out the rules here.

In honor of Father’s Day next Sunday, I have decided to host a contest with a very jazzy button & even prizes!!! You have from now until Saturday to write a post about “The World’s Worst Dad.”

Some of you may remember reading a “Letters from Bob” post I wrote a while back. My father and I have no relationship at this moment to speak of, but our past has plenty of turmoil and lots of letters (mostly from him).

I have not spoken to him since he was released from jail almost a year ago. This week I will share with you a letter from Bob each day. (WARNING - his language is a bit explicit.) Stay tuned…

Here are the rules:

1) Write a post between now and Saturday (the deadline) regarding “The World’s Worst Dad.” It can be a story from personal experience or one you’ve heard.

2) You must use this link back to the contest.

http://www.fenicle.com/2007/06/10/worlds-worst-dad/

3) Use this button as well.

<a href="http://www.fenicle.com/2007/06/10/worlds-worst-dad/"> <img src="http://fenicle.com/images/Worlds-Worst-Dadx200.png" /></a>

4) E-mail me at info@fenicle.com when you have posted your story.

5) I will draw a random winner from all the entries on Sunday, June 17th and announce it on this site ~ along with a list linking to all of your Father Day’s posts.

The winner will receive a $25 gift card to Wilson’s Leather Store, a $15 gift card to Starbucks & a SPECIAL PRIZE. (I promise it isn’t anything I’ve stolen from Wal-Mart!) Who couldn’t use a new leather purse and some coffee? And the special prize is definitely worth sharing a post! So spread the word & start thinking of those worst father moments, that not-so-loving advice he shared or just the best darn story you’ve ever heard.

Let me introduce you to my father, Bob. My parents divorced when I was in middle school and my relationship with him went downhill from there. I have some funny and some rather painful stories of our relationship. He didn’t have a stable family growing up and I understand how that can affect you as an adult. However, there comes a time when you must take responsibility for your actions and leave the past behind. Unfortunately, he let his addiction to drugs dictate his life. As of today we haven’t spoke since I last saw him in a holding cell in October 2005. I’ll be posting letters I’ve received from him over the years.

Warning - some are rather graphic in language. The first is listed below. More to follow.

May 16, 1994

Emily,

I don’t know what to say. I’m hurt and I feel betrayed. You have embarrassed me in front of the entire city by writing this article. You’re a hell of a writer, but you suck at the facts. The divorce wasn’t just hard on you. You can be so selfish. What about me? I’ve bent over backwards to try and be a part of you and your brother’s life. You walk all over me. I didn’t come to your confirmation because you wouldn’t invite my girlfriend to sit with your family in the church. That is so rude. I didn’t raise you to be that way. Your fucking mother tells you shit that isn’t true. I hope you grow up soon.

Dad

_________________________________________________________________________________
**This was in response to an article I wrote my junior year of high school that was published as a feature piece in our local newspaper. See below.

If I told you that my parents were divorced, you’d probably give me a typical response - “Oh.” Oh, what? Oh, how sad? Oh that’s nice? Oh I see? How about, “Oh, I bet that’s hard”? That pretty much sums up what divorce is. Hard. It is a lot harder than what some people believe. It has been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.

I am 16 years old and have already been through a divorce - even though I have never been married. When my parents got a divorce, it was like I divorced one of them. Our family split, and the more I accepted the divorce, the more ashamed I felt. For the first couple of years, I tried to conceal it and make up an image that we were still a family. In time, I found out what caused the divorce. From that day on the word ”family” lost its meaning. The time a parent misses with a child can never be replaced. I know that. Only one of my parents was at my confirmation. The same one took pictures at my eighth-grade graduation ceremony. Who saw me when I was all dressed up for the prom? I didn’t have to reserve very many seats at my play in junior high. My basketball and softball games were too much of an inconvenience; maybe that’s why I saw myself as an inconvenience. At one point, I could have screamed every time I heard the word “cancel.”

As hard as the divorce might have been for me, I gained my best friend out of it. And I wouldn’t trade that parent for anything in the world. I always say to myself that I will never get a divorce. After going through one as a child, I couldn’t bear to watch my child suffer the same pain. Five years after the divorce, I am trying to be part of a new family and deal with the guilt of leaving half behind. Divorce is becoming more common. Sometimes things just don’t work. The only advice I can give parents is to remember that they are divorcing their spouse and not their children.