Can I just say how incredibly lucky I feel to have found that one person meant for me in this world? I truly believe in soul mates that are handpicked by God. Sometimes lust and love get confused and we fall for someone who isn’t meant to be around for the long-haul. Sure they’re fun and you enjoy being with them, but they usually aren’t the type to stick out the storms that we weather throughout life.

I met a couple guys that I could have made a life with, but I strongly question whether they would have stuck with me over the past couple of years and I now know what I had with them wasn’t unconditional love.

There was a time in college when all my friends were either engaged or in a serious relationship. I was in serious drought mode for a few years, but I had a few really bad dates that I’m thankful for. Those bad dates made me realize the importance of waiting for the right person to come along and not to settle just to be satisfied.

First, there was the blind double date with my cousin Stephanie. She promised me that he was as tall as I was (5′10). Guess what? He wasn’t even close! That started the evening out on a bad note. We saw a movie and the guy needed a booster seat to see, so we sat near the very front.

We went to dinner afterwards where everyone but me was over 21 and could drink, so I was the designated driver. After a few beers this date proceeded to tell a horrific story of a dog that was barking on his property one night. He claims he shot the dog, cooked the meat and ate it. The story coincided with our steaks arriving at the table. Dinner was then over in my books.

Over Christmas break one semester my loving father set me up with some client’s son who was in town for the holidays. I only agreed to this blind date because the guy was in medical school. I’m shallow I know. It had its awkward moments and the conversation was pretty light until he asked if I’d read any good books lately.

My response was that the last book I read was “The Great Gatsby” in high school because I couldn’t find the Cliff Notes. Well that set this scholar into hysterics.

I can’t imagine how red my face was as the other people dining around us were looking, while he ranted about plagiarism and lectured me on taking the easy way out. Dinner ended a little early that night, as did the date.

You’d think I’d learn my lesson, but I let a friend set me up with a guy she knew who was involved in a youth ministry program at college. I figured this guy should be harmless, but I over-estimated the power of Jesus. When he picked me up in the lobby of my dorm the first words out of his mouth were, “Look, I know I’m hot and by the end of the night you’ll be lusting after me, but I’m saving myself for marriage. So hands off.”

I kid you not. He came out waving his freak flag with both hands.

That was the end of my blind dates. I figured a life of celibacy was far better than the guys I’d encountered. Thankfully being patient paid off in many, many ways.

A good friend I work with is about to adopt a newborn next week. She’s been asking for advice on handling the transition from a couple to a family.

I’m not sure I can even remember how my husband and I went from two to three, but no matter how much people tell you that your life is about to change it won’t sink in until it actually happens.

You are so used to doing things together and now everything you plan for will involve an additional person by your side. And that additional person requires a lot of gear just to go to the grocery. Your individuality becomes intertwined with this new being and it’s easy to forget that before this branch grew, you and your spouse were the trunk of this family tree.

It didn’t take us long to realize that it was important for our family (and sanity) that we continue to have a separate relationship where we didn’t refer to each other as “mommy” and “daddy.” A dinner out where we were not cutting up someone’s meat or digging spare Cheerios out of the diaper bag, was needed.

When I mentioned this piece of advice to her she acted offended. I wasn’t suggesting they leave their newborn every other night to go out partying. Just be sure to make time together that didn’t involve the responsibility of a baby, so they could have a conversation or just sit in silence (which little do they know will be hard to come by soon).

Do couples date anymore? My husband and I try to go out either by ourselves or with some friends at least once a month if possible. Our son stays with my parents and it’s good for him to gain a little independence away from us and he gets spoiled rotten. A win-win for everyone involved.

I know this couple is very anxious about adopting and stressed about connecting with their child, but over time they will figure out what works best for their relationship and family.

Dear Nathan,

Asking you if it has felt like 7 years would be like asking President Bush if he wishes he’d never invaded Iraq. I already know the answer.

My love and appreciation for you and our relationship has grown over time. One my favorite qualities is that we see eye-to-eye on how to celebrate the mushy stuff.

For example, we aren’t the type of couple that recognize occasions like our first date, our first kiss, etc… which requires buying cards, flowers and expensive jewelry. Instead we like to recall the events that were more meaningful in shaping our marriage.

Remember that time I stole a table from the house you rented at Purdue and you ended up going to court? That was good times! Or how about the time you kept telling me that the statements we were getting in the mail were fake and that you didn’t really invest the money we were saving to buy a house in online stocks? Good thing I don’t still hold that over your head.

And then there was that time I put the naked guy pictures on the back of your truck with magnets and a sign that said, “Honk 4 Love!” You couldn’t figure out why those people were honking at you all the way to work. It wasn’t until noon when a co-worker pointed it out. We still celebrate those 3 days it took you to talk to me after that.

I could go on and on because we’ve created a lot of memories in the past 7 years. Thankfully we’re the type of couple who chooses to remember everyday and not just the days that society tells us are important.

Apparently the 7th anniversary gift is wool & cooper. Thank God we aren’t those type of people either. That is why I love us.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! All my love, Emily

As my 30th birthday approaches tomorrow I have been asked the same questions over and over again.

“Do you feel any different?”

“Is it depressing turning 30?”

The one question anyone has yet to ask is -

“Is this where you thought you’d be at 30?”

The answer is no.

I have always lived by short-term goals. Forget planning so far ahead. I just need to have an outline on how my life should go over the next few years. Life is so much easier to picture when you aren’t focusing on the distant future. Everything looks manageable and glamorous in the present.

In high school the goal was to finish high school and go away to college. Check.

Once in college the goal was to finish college (ok, there was an extra year in there I didn’t plan for) and then find a job. Check.

The next goal was to marry, buy a house and start a family. Check.

Everything fell into place just as I had planned.

My husband turned 30 about a month ago. Our goals by this age were to buy a larger house, be more secure financially and most importantly have another child. This is how we expected our lives to go.

Life interrupted us a few years ago and rearranged things just a bit. Three years ago my husband was praying that I live to see my 30th birthday. All of a sudden a larger house didn’t seem to be the short-term goal.

In all honesty the first year after the car accident I didn’t think I’d see 30 either. My whole world was crumbling. In the midst of my own pain I watched the sudden short-term goals of my cousin fall apart as well.

The world was starting to seem like a cruel, evil storm that wouldn’t end. So why keep fighting?

Because for a reason I will never completely understand I am here to blow out candles on my 30th birthday. Goals change. Things happen.

I’m not planning short or long-term goals anymore. Instead I strive to do the best with what I’ve got, each day I’m given.

There is a guy my husband works with who is getting married (for the second time). He and his ex-wife were almost divorced when the young woman he was dating got pregnant. They have since had the baby and are now ready to walk down the aisle.

When I asked my husband about their upcoming wedding, he laughed and stated that they were registering for items and planning to return them for cash. I was puzzled. They included a note card that said they were registered at Target and when I looked online they had certainly registered for what looked like reasonable items.

When we were married (October 7, 2000) we had one bridal shower (with mostly my family). Having both lived for several years in apartments at college, we had a lot of items newly married couples ask for. Granted they didn’t all match, but they worked. For our wedding we ended up deciding that the focus shouldn’t be on gifts. We were celebrating with family and friends that we felt fortunate to have in our lives. Instead we asked that if they felt the need to give something, that they make a donation to a local charity that provides children with Christmas.

I admit, it wasn’t my idea, it was my mom’s. Who were we to argue? After all, they were paying for the wedding and had given us the freedom to choose and plan most of what we wanted. It was a beautiful, simple wedding. Nothing fancy, but yet it felt like an elegant evening.

That idea was met with some resistance. Many guests felt the need to both donate to the charity and give us a small gift, which was fine. I can remember only returning one item that we received - a George Foreman Grill - because we already had one. Although it wasn’t for cash, I believe we exchanged it for something else.

Personally I rarely use gift registries to buy gifts. Whether it be for a wedding or a baby. My biggest reason is it’s no fun. I know you register for things you need and getting a bunch of duplicate or useless items is basically worthless. BUT…I don’t like you telling me what to buy for you and then knowing the price.

So is this the new thing to do? Register for items you don’t want or need, but hope people will buy so you can return them for cash? Shouldn’t they just come out and ask for cash? I know it’s tacky, but you’re just wasting the guests time.