I just finished my first book since I was was required to read “The Great Gatsby” my senior year of high school. Yes, I am almost 30 years old.

If you think I paid $12,000 a year (for 5 years) at college to read entire books on the most boring subjects in the world - you’re crazy! That is why God created Cliff Notes & the internet.

Back to the book I just completed - “The Virgin Suicides.” It’s probably a little out-dated by now, but I actually enjoyed it. I’ve been taking our son to the library and I started feeling like the librarian was looking over my account in pity. I’m fairly certain she knows that I’m not reading “Harry Has Spots” or “What The Pigs Eat.”

What is it with librarians and their style? She had the typical tucked in, fully buttoned up blouse, and full length skirt with the brown oval reading glasses hanging around her neck.

Every week I get this look of disappointment. Like “I see you bring your kid here and pretend it’s important to read, but don’t read yourself….” Alright already. I decided to look studious last week so I picked up two books.

Next week I’m going to shock the socks off the old librarian and check out some sex books!

One of my favorite terms is the word “special.” It can be used to describe so many people in this world, but in a politically correct way. (Unlike “retarded” which I have used and realize it can be demeaning to others. Though I always felt anyone who is dyslexic & flunked college algebra 9x’s is allowed to use such a term.)

I’ve been working for the same organization now for 7 years. Straight outta collage I applied and for some reason they hired me. I’ve had two different jobs there. The first was more of a social work position, then I was moved over to working with youth in our local schools.

The first year and a half were spent understanding what real life is. In the first position I taught financial budgeting classes, gave out food/clothing referrals, and took phone calls and walk-in’s that needed help.

Most needed help I couldn’t provide them. I listened intently to many sad and horrific stories. The big lesson was I had to learn how to read people, because I got burned many times by the sob stories some would tell.

My “co-worker” who had been there a whole 4 months longer, had that kind of personality where she needed to be in control. She also felt she was the “supervisor” and was too good to do the mundane things our positions sometimes required. Being 22 and inexperienced I did most of the work and she had a rather easy life for about 6 months.

My first day on the job she shared with me that she “made” her husband get a vasectomy before they got married. She despises children. A little too much info for day one on the job.

She had this attitude about her and she spoke down to the clients we worked with making them feel low and worthless.

And she’s an environmentally friendly person. She collects collects things to recycle from the office and they actually converted her car to some used oil machine to save on gas. But two weeks ago they purchased a Ford F-250 monster truck and about every 30 minutes you can find her outside our building smoking and then throwing the cigarette on the ground.

During my time with her time I learned how to stand up for myself and when the opportunity presented itself to change to a different position, I jumped at the chance to climb the ladder and leave her behind.

Since then she was finally “promoted” to the supervisor she dreamed of being and has hired 5 different workers for the position I left. The 5th just left last week. You could say that they didn’t find the position paid enough to put up with her.

In the elevator yesterday I asked her if she’s interviewing and she stated yes. Then she went on to say, “I’m going to take my time though. I want to actually sit down and interview them. Ask them questions. Call references.”

Good thinking! Bet she’s looking for someone special.

See that box over on the right that is flashing words? Well I’m in a contest to win a song written just for me by HANSON! Stop laughing. They’re still together. In fact, they have a new album coming out soon. I LOVE the Um-Bop Boys!!! I don’t ask for much. But if you could just click on it each time you visit it will help me win.

The bathroom at work is shared by the entire 6th floor in my building, which includes about 5 different offices and their clients. It’s a clean and fairly simple restroom with three stalls. I have my favorite to the left, because you can’t see through the door cracks as well as the other two and it is right next to the wall. So you have some privacy on at least one side.

Let’s be real. No one wishes to have others be able to stare at your crack through a cracked door while you’re pulling up your pants.

I have a phobia about doing my “business” in front of strangers who can hear and judge your every sound. A lot of times I hang out in the stall if someone else enters until they are done and have left. I have no idea why. I’m just weird I guess.

I admit doing that “peaking” thing that many people I’m sure do when I’m in there too. I checked out their shoes under the stall. My curiosity gets the best of me and I like to know who is sitting on the throne next to me.

Last week as I had just sat down a lady entered stall #3 (maybe it’s her favorite). I listened as she took one of the protective toilet seat covers they provide “For Your Protection” and did her thing. I did my thing and just hung out until she left. What I noticed is that she didn’t wash her hands. Not even a little splash of water. Nothing.

Personally I wash my hands when I use a public restroom. Maybe I don’t every single time at home, but when I’m using a restroom someone else other than immediate family has used, I wash. And usually when my “business” is more than just a tinkle.

It just didn’t make sense as to why she’d go to the trouble of using those toilet seat tissue covers (that never stay put) and then not wash her hands. Does it?

She could use that antibacterial sanitizer back at her desk? Or maybe she’s only worried about what her a** touches?

For pure fun, I am considering purchasing some of these for our work restroom.

Has anyone else heard about this? There are middle schools across the country, but specifically in Virginia, who are enforcing a strict no-contact rule amongst their students. No-contact even includes handshakes, high-fives and hugs. Students can be penalized for breaking the rule.

The original intent was to curb fighting and violence among the students. School officials admitted that the building was designed to hold a maximum of 850, but has exceeded 1,100.

I’m not sure I believe the solution they’re trying to incorporate is the right one. It sounds like another case of overcrowding. I strongly believe there should be some limits on the amount of “touching” that is allowed at the middle school level, but I also believe they are sending kids the wrong message. Let’s teach them self-control and compassion, not distance and indifference.

Physical touch is necessary to show love and feel accepted. For some children getting a hug from a friend at school (or even a teacher) might be the only physical contact they receive that day. How do the sports teams communicate on the field if high-fives are banned? At the end of the game most teams line up to shake hands to signify good sportsmanship.

This is obviously a hormonal age for young students and exploring is natural. Groping each other at school is not. They need to understand boundaries and the focus should be more on healthy relationships at this age. Telling them they cannot express themselves by hugging another person is not healthy. Their focus at school should be on education and learning, not the giddiness of holding their boyfriend’s hand in the hall.

One statement a school official made that I found quite interesting was: “They’ve seen pokes lead to fights, gang signs in the form of handshakes or girls who are uncomfortable being hugged but embarrassed to say anything.”

It is possible that they are trying to avoid lawsuits from unwanted touching. However, sex education needs to start at the very beginning of how to treat a person. There is a large debate on what to teach ~ abstinence versus comprehensive sex education.

Too much focus is on body parts and birth control, and not enough is taught on what is appropriate behavior. Children don’t understand what is acceptable and what is not. Making out in the hallway at middle school is neither. Hugging a friend who is having a bad day is acceptable.

Somewhere along the line my husband must have learned it’s alright to walk up to me and grab at my chest. I’m thinking it may have stemmed from some bra strap popping back in middle school.

I almost feel guilty. Especially after reading a recent post by Kristen @ Motherhood Uncensored about a “stolen” $6.95 duck from The Gap. Seems some people who live in glass houses decided to throw a few stones and almost suggest they have never taken anything without paying (whether on accident or not).

They’ve probably never dented someone’s car door at Target or taken a piece of candy from the grocery store center aisle stand either. The again I’m sure they never received a restaurant bill only to notice they weren’t charged for a drink and didn’t bring it to the waitresses attention.

A few weekends ago I went to Wal-Mart’s garden center to pick up some flowers and bags of cedar mulch. The way it works is that you pay at the register inside, then drive your vehicle around to the side lot where these landscaping things are located and one of the friendly, tan Wal-Mart boys (usually in high school or college and not too bad on the eyes) will load your car. About 75% of the time they will ask to see your receipt.

So there I stood in the 90 degree heat waiting patiently for one of these fine young men to come lift some bags of mulch into my vehicle. And I waited….for at least 5 minutes. No one in sight.

In anger, I start hiking the bags of mulch (I paid for) into the back of the Expedition. Great customer service uh? Great theft prevention program too I thought. In my anger I may have thrown a couple extra bags of mulch in my vehicle (that I did not pay for). So what?

Then I did something beyond a $6.95 duck. Way beyond. I went over and grabbed some landscaping stones (that were heavier than the mulch), placed them in the Expedition and left.

I only feel guilty that Kristen got so much crap about accidentally bringing a stupid duck home when there are a lot of people, like myself, who take things on purpose.

It happens. How many times have you gotten home after hitting the McDonald’s drive-thru only to realize they gave you the wrong food? How many times has McDonald’s given you an extra order of fries you didn’t pay for? It all equals out.

Kristen got raked over the coals, but responded with humor. Go check out her ducks and choose your stance.

Thanks for the extra mulch and stones Wal-Mart. I’m sure you’ll get the money back next week when the sale items don’t ring up at sale price.