6 Years Ago
Yesterday you turned 6 years old. I can hardly say that, let alone write it. It just doesn’t seem possible. You’ve reached this age before we got in the basics, such as learning to tie your shoes or ride your bicycle without training wheels. Time has certainly gotten away from us.
Sadness is brought to my heart as I think about what each year as represented as you’ve grown. Instead of milestones like those above, we can measure your life by surgeries and medical events.
In so many ways I feel like you have been cheated over the past 4 years and it makes me angry. So much time has been focused on me and not you. For that I am sorry.
So it was fitting yesterday that during the exact time when you were born into this world 6 years ago, I was laying in an MRI machine having yet another medical test done. In an effort to diminish the memories it was bringing back of being helplessly stuck in a wrecked vehicle, I concentrated on breathing and focused on you. Much like I did 6 years ago during labor.
Yesterday I thought deeply about what has happened over 6 years and was has not happened. Where I thought our family would be when you turned 6 and where we are now. Most of all I thought about how what’s “normal” to you, isn’t to other kids your age.
I thought about the times when I’ve made it about me and not you. The times when I’ve chosen to ignore your needs and indulge mine. The moments when I’ve yelled in anger and cried in pity. The times that I definitely put me first and you second. Worst of all, there were times that I justified my actions by telling myself that I was the one who suffering, not you.
Aside from all these faults, you know how much I love you and that I would do anything for you. My hope is that if you take anything away from the situation life has dealt us, it is the character and strength that your father has displayed. He has role modeled what love and sacrifice involves, and how deep his commitment is to our family.
Despite everything you don’t have, you do have a wonderful father who loves us both. And that is not necessarily “normal” in the world today. Sometimes not being “normal” turns out to be a good thing.
I thank God daily for you both. I pray that the next 6 years will be more about you and less about me.
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The Cakeless Birthday
As if it wasn’t bad enough that I waited until a week before the birthday party to send out invites, I spent the afternoon frantically scouring Southern Indiana in hopes of finding a Star Wars birthday cake.
Who waits until the day before the party to order a specialized cake? Me. I can’t believe I forgot this very, very important detail. Can you imagine the therapy later in life a forgotten cake might create?
After realizing this I’ve been calling bakeries in 3 area counties looking for a Star Wars cake. (At this point I’m even willing to drive to another city even with $4 a gallon gas.) Heck, I even said I’d settle for cupcakes with little stupid plastic Star Wars rings or something on them. No such luck. I got the EXACT same answer with each call - whoever licenses bakeries to carry trademarked characters lost their license on Star Wars and they no longer are able to make me a cake with that on it.
At first I thought that’s fine you don’t need to have the decorations, just copy the invitation we created (and printed ourselves). But that would violate copyright laws. I promised not to tell anyone, but that didn’t work either.
One bakery actually tried to talk me into just having a Power Rangers cake! Because that makes total sense doesn’t it? Have Star Wars plates, decorations, invitations and then just have a Power Rangers birthday cake. No one will notice that.
So here I am with 24 hours to spare and I’ve found one place who still had some Star Wars decorations left (actually it is a plastic Darth Vader mask). So I begged and pleaded that she could just get the cake ready and I’d put the mask on myself at home.
Then, it’s not technically violating any rules that the Copyright Police would find out about. She agreed and I think I’ve succeeded in finding a solution. Having not seen this cake I have no idea how it will turn out, but I pray it looks decent.
Obviously my mind has been elsewhere. Ever since the move I’ve been frazzled at work and at home. I’m not sure why. Moving out to the middle of nowhere should have created a less stressful environment right? I think I left my brain in the city!
Just Call Me Trout Pout
I woke up this morning and realized my mouth was dry. That isn’t unusual as I sometimes have a habit of sleeping with my mouth open at night. But this dry was like the desert on a very hot day. When I reached the bathroom I was astounded to find my bottom lip looked like I’d joined Paris Hilton in a lip collagen party.
The reason my mouth was dry is because my bottom lip was so swollen and heavy I couldn’t keep my mouth closed! My son’s first reaction was to tell me I looked like a fish. Nice.
Our 4th of July was nothing out of the ordinary. My husband’s birthday is on the 4th and we celebrated very low key at home, which was nice. We spent 2 days at a local lake with some good friends boating, swimming and fishing. I have not eaten anything different or taken any new medication that would cause an allergic reaction such as this.
It’s been twelve hours and 5 Benadryl later and there is no improvement. I skipped work today thinking I’d rest and hang out and by tomorrow it would all be better. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and must go to the office, so let’s pray that when I wake up in the morning my lip is back to looking normal. Otherwise I’ll have to come up with some really crazy story about how I got bit by a blow fish, because according to Dr. Google that might very well be a possible cause.
Deep Fried Receipt
I was recently eating lunch at a small pizza dive. My usual is half a stromboli and half and order of breaded mushrooms (very healthy). As lunch was almost over I went to cut one last mushroom in half (because they are large) and to my surprise did not find a mushroom inside the deep fried batter.
Instead it was wadded up paper. I’m pretty sure it was a receipt!
I yelled, “It’s paper.”
My friend said, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, it has letters on it!”
Because that is how can tell right? Letters, not numbers. Whatever my logic the fact is that I was served a deep fried receipt. It wasn’t even my receipt.
I don’t even want to know how it happened. The waitress didn’t charge us for the mushrooms, but she also didn’t seem to surprised either. No mushrooms for me for a long time.
Belated Wishes On The Way
What happens when you try to juggle more than you should? In my case you receive a card in the mail. Not just any card though, this was a card that I bought, signed, addressed to myself and mailed.
As I looked through our mail I even thought to myself that this handwriting looks familiar.
Imagine my surprise to find that I’d cared enough to send the very best to myself. The worst part is I’m not even sure who the birthday card was intended for. Now I need to figure out who didn’t get a card and send them a belated wishes.
My name is Emily. I’m 30 years old. I have often been told that I ask a lot of questions, but I think I have more to say than ask.
